Ep32 - Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Jurassic World Dominion 2022. After teasing what dinosaurs living alongside the rest of the world would look like for almost 30 years, finally, the wait is over. But wait. There seems to be a giant locust swarm ravaging the world's crops. And wait, there's another isolated genetics complex housing the majority of the world's dinosaurs. Also, you'll just have to wait longer to see dinosaurs living among people. Until after Owen and Claire steal the cloned science experiments named Macy back from the people they already stole her from once before. [00:00:40] Speaker B: I wish I would have listened to that before I watched this movie so that I didn't go in with such high expectations. And believe me, my expectations were right about here. [00:00:54] Speaker A: Oh, man. [00:00:57] Speaker B: Will, you summed this movie up quite well. Did you, like, me, go into this, a little frustrated with Jurassic World 2? [00:01:08] Speaker A: I went into this thinking it was going to be a continuation of the shit show the previous movie was, and I wasn't disappointed at all. [00:01:18] Speaker B: Now, Dan, we talked last time about Jurassic Park 2. It was like two movies crammed into one, and we wanted to see dinosaurs in the real world. Do you feel that we were finally given dinosaurs in the real world? [00:01:31] Speaker C: Well, I'm super. You were mentioning just while we were off the air, there was an extended cut where you actually got to see more dinosaurs in the real world. And I'm super disappointed that I didn't watch that version. So I watched the. The theatrical one, I don't know, the one that was on Netflix. And you saw a little bit of dinosaurs in the world, but honestly didn't. It didn't give me enough of what I wanted, and it didn't really explain much of what was going on. Like, we saw people herding the dinosaurs, and we saw, like, dinosaur farms. What are we getting from the dinosaurs? Like, are we. Are we getting milk? Like, these dairy farms? Because they definitely portrayed those dinosaurs as, like, cows. But, like, what are we using for. What are we. [00:02:08] Speaker B: Are we getting dinosaur bones going for $3,000 an ounce on the black market? I don't know what dinosaur bone dust does, but that was one thing we got. [00:02:18] Speaker C: Okay, I either missed that or it was in the extended version. I didn't need much. Like, give me any explanation. Like, dinosaurs are delicious. Cool. Check that box. And now I understand why we care. But, like, we have an entire scene where they're breaking dinosaurs out of this farm, this illegal breeding farm, and I'm like, but why? Like, what? [00:02:36] Speaker A: And also, like, how hard is it to track down a giant Triceratops farm? They're like, in this huge field of triceratops, obviously the authorities would be able to find that pretty easily. [00:02:50] Speaker C: Yeah, well, like, okay, so they're breeding them to sell them to billionaires, I guess. But, like, what billionaires are buying, like, dinosaurs, I have to assume, would require an immense amount of space. Would require an immense amount of food. Aren't doing anything other than, I guess, looking cool, like. Like, I don't understand what the purpose of them are on the black market. You mentioned their bones are good for something. But like, oh, sure, they're not good for protection. Like, we have the ones. I'm going way ahead in the movie. All of a sudden, the one woman who has like, surgically trained raptors and like, okay, I've said before, I've watched the TV shows with my daughter. That is something from the cartoon. And in the cartoon it's like, well, of course they're not going to use guns and shoot people. So that makes sense. Seeing it in the real world, all I could think of was your comment last week of like, if you have a laser pointer on a person, yeah, [00:03:39] Speaker B: just pull the trigger. [00:03:40] Speaker C: Like, she pointed the laser at a couple of them. Just like, bang. That's the end of that movie. Like, all right, side plot over. Moving on. I'm like, oh, this is a cartoon idea that makes so much sense and a movie idea that makes literally none. [00:03:54] Speaker B: So I came into this thinking that we were finally going to get a world where dinosaurs now exist. This would be like a post apocalyptic kind of movie where the world is entirely different because now dinosaurs are everywhere and how do people live amongst them? And. And if you watch the extended version, you have a T. Rex running through a drive in movie theater. I don't know why they have drive in movie theaters. I don't know if those really exist anymore. And then I guess, yeah, Covid kind of put them back on the market and so. And then we have a couple of like, news clips of people driving cars into stegosauruses and stuff. And they're like, there was 37 deaths last year due to dinosaurs. I'm like, really? 37 deaths? Like, in that town or in the wild? [00:04:36] Speaker C: That's exactly what I was thinking. Like, that's a really low number. So. [00:04:41] Speaker B: And we didn't get the world. And instead of how the dinosaurs living amongst us are changing the way the [00:04:49] Speaker A: world [00:04:51] Speaker B: exists and the life that we know, instead of that movie, we got dino crickets. Like, what was. Why, why did they make locusts? Why was that even a plot in this movie? Why did you need to make locusts affecting the environment. When. I mean, you have environmentalists that talk about methane gas from cows. I'm pretty sure dinosaurs are probably putting a lot more out there than cows. [00:05:17] Speaker C: Let's. [00:05:17] Speaker B: Let's talk about that environmental effect. Let's talk about their meat being sold on the open market and replacing cows and chickens. Let's talk about, like. Like, let's talk about climate change. Let's talk about how it affects the travel industry. Let's talk about anything that don you could think of. The list goes on forever. And instead they skip all of that and they make dino crickets. And it has to be about some big agricultural corporation with a weird Steve Jobs bad guy. It was Dogson. We got Dobson here frustrated. I was really frustrated that I got duped again. [00:05:54] Speaker C: I'm really glad you mentioned that Steve Jobs thing. Cause I was just watching. I'm like, I don't know much about Steve Jobs. I've never been an Apple person, but I'm like, I am getting huge Steve Jobs vibes from. From this guy. And I don't know if that's entirely on purpose or if that's my own bias against Apple and. And Steve Jobs himself. Like, maybe that's just on me, but I'm really glad that's not so. [00:06:12] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that was definitely a parody of that character, I think. Okay. It is what it is. It. I. I agree with everything Brian said. This is not a dinosaur movie. This. They've. They've moved on from a dinosaur movie. There's dinosaurs in here because they know fans want to see, you know, scary action sequences with dinosaurs. So those are sporadically placed, sometimes completely unnecessarily in the movie. But this movie is about a locust infestation that is going to cause world hunger if they are not taken care of. That's what this movie is about. [00:06:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:49] Speaker B: And a splash of genetic cloning because of Maisie. [00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. [00:06:53] Speaker B: Well, which we've already. [00:06:55] Speaker C: I'm actually. I'm really glad we didn't get any monster dinosaurs. Like, oh, we decided to put this and this and that together to make the scariest motherfucker. Like, no, just leave that in the past. Like. Like when they're like, oh, we're classier than that. I'm just like, we'll see. [00:07:08] Speaker B: Yeah, we did get the Giga Nutosaurus or whatever they call that thing. [00:07:13] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a real thing. I did look that up. That actually is a real dinosaur, so I'll take it. [00:07:18] Speaker B: So, yeah, and I'm glad that they went with a real dinosaur instead of making up something stupid. But again, you could feel Hollywood's like, well, T. Rex isn't scary, so we got to go with something better. [00:07:28] Speaker A: Always have to give T Rex a run for its money, right? [00:07:30] Speaker B: Yeah. And we still wins out at the end. It was lame, so, [00:07:39] Speaker C: crap, I lost it. Okay, so it felt to me. Let me know if you guys agree with this or not. Like, maybe Colin Trevorrow wanted to make a slightly more intelligent movie. Whether he's capable of that or not, I'm not entirely sure. But it felt like maybe he was wanting that and studio execs or somebody was just like, no, no, we need to have dinosaur fights in this movie. And so every time something mildly interesting would happen, you throw in a dinosaur chase scene or, like, a velociraptor gets loser. Something ridiculous the entire last half of the movie, and it's just like, oh. That kind of just negated all of the potential interesting structure that you were going with. I actually didn't hate the Locust as much. It wasn't what I was expecting from a Jurassic park movie. But in the world that we're in, kind of makes sense in a weird way. But I just like the. The scenes of Maisie, Owen, Claire living in the woods. They're trying to, like, keep her off the. Off the market. Blue is kind of around, but we're not really sure if he's, you know, friend or foe. [00:08:42] Speaker A: She's greeting. [00:08:44] Speaker C: Sorry. She. That kind of was okay for me. Like, I don't know if I want the full two hours of that, but, like, I don't need them to go back to a park. I don't need them to get chased by 18 different, you know, gigantic carnivores. That level of tension and character building is kind of like, okay, I'm. I'm cool living here. This is okay with me. Like, there's, like, three different movies, and almost any of them I would have been okay with, but instead we go back to a park and an incredibly fragile park. Everything in that park was not designed for dinosaurs, despite the fact that it was surrounded by dinosaurs. [00:09:14] Speaker A: What was their plan here? If something crazy happens, they just send all the dinosaurs inside to just butcherize each other and destroy each other while they run away. Yeah, like, it made zero sense. Their evacuation plan made zero sense at all. [00:09:30] Speaker C: I was definitely going to get there, but I guess if we're here now, it didn't look like a raging forest fire to me. Like, it didn't look like the LA fires It didn't look like the volcano from the last movie. This looked manageable. And where they've got genetically engineered everything and they've got billions of dollars and they could like foresee anything coming. Instead, everything is made of like the thinnest glass you can possibly have. So everything can break through it. The game plan is just like, call the dinosaurs into the center and we'll fuck off. [00:10:02] Speaker A: Like, so weird. [00:10:03] Speaker C: It was just. He's like, oh. And it wasn't like, the plan wasn't bring the dinosaurs in. We'll leave, we'll come back in like two days when the fires are burnt out. Let the dinosaurs go back. [00:10:11] Speaker A: Let's. [00:10:11] Speaker C: Like, he's talking about, like, we'll rebuild it somewhere else. Like, they were cutting and running. What on earth is going on with this film? Like, why. Why can't you recover this at all? [00:10:22] Speaker B: I did like the visual effect of the fiery locusts flying through the air. I thought that looked neat. Anytime the locusts were flying around, it did look kind of cool. But I kept thinking about how this is a movie about genetically modified locusts. It's not a Jurassic park movie. Like, you remember how we talked about the alien covenant, how it. It wasn't initially meant to be an Alien movie, but they kind of like smashed it into the franchise. And we're like, it could have been its own movie. The genetically modified locust thing, the. The Maisie storyline, kind of stuff, that could have been its own movie. It would have been fine. But it felt like they smashed it into a Jurassic park franchise and. And it took the place of what was supposed to be my poke post Jurassic Apocalyptic movie. And I didn't get that. So, yeah, I was very upset about all that. [00:11:14] Speaker C: I did. We talked about this at the end of Fallen Kingdom and it was 100% true. Where like this movie takes place, what, three or four years after that? [00:11:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:11:24] Speaker C: And like there are more species of dinosaurs than there were in that building. And they're everywhere, thousands of them. And like 18 escapes. Now we do see that blue is able to genetically self reproduced by itself. So I assume they can all do that. But even at that rate, how fast do dinosaurs grow that they're like, you know, like these hamsters, they can like reproduce after six weeks of being alive. Like, what is going on? Like, I was. I know would take a year or two or three to get to full size. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:55] Speaker A: And I know we're like six movies out from the original, but originally they were bred all females so that they couldn't reproduce now we're talking about Blue being specifically bred so that they could reproduce on their own, like, and pick a lane and stay in it. This is getting so bad. [00:12:13] Speaker B: You remember in the very first movie we had the Doctor who? No, maybe it wasn't the dog. Maybe was Grant. In the movie, they said some African species of frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex, right? And they used frog DNA, right? And almost every Jurassic park movie, we have some line where they go, oh, we, you know, use this genetic line of a bird, and it was known to do this and that stuff, right? And we get to this one, and it's like, Maisie's mother has a line of genetics that allows her to spontaneously reproduce, and that was put into Blue. It was like every single time we get this line of what it could be, I was waiting for somebody to say, we spliced in some rabbit DNA so these mfers could breed like crazy and explain why we have such a plethora of dinosaurs in this movie after only four. [00:13:09] Speaker C: Going back to the Jurassic park, like you just mentioned, I'd always assumed, like, from the first time I saw that 93 till literally I watched this movie, that, like, a dinosaur was changing sex, but you were still having hot dinosaur on dinosaur action after the change sex. And like this one, they're just like, no, no, we just do it on our own. I'm like, what is this? Something they could do with the time? And again, if they. If. If it hadn't been Blue, but it had been, like, the indoraptor, like, the thing significantly that they changed the blueprints that had that ability. Some part of my brain could make sense of that. It'd be stupid, but my brain can make sense of it. But Blue was supposed to be in captivity in Jurassic World. Why would they give it the ability to breed when none of them were supposed to have that ability in Jurassic park or up to that point? Like, why. Why introduce that then? I'm curious. [00:13:55] Speaker B: Can you guys explain to me, Maisie's mother, did she change her own genetics so that she could make a baby of her own? [00:14:04] Speaker C: Or I assume she implanted herself with a fertilized egg that she created. [00:14:09] Speaker A: She fertilized her own egg with her own DNA to create herself, but then removed the diseased strain out of her baby so that she could live her life but longer. [00:14:24] Speaker B: Okay, so who gave Blue the ability to self replicate? Because I thought that was, like, who [00:14:32] Speaker C: did it theoretically possible? He didn't say he specifically gave it to her, but it was always theoretically possible. He thought it was theoretically possible or [00:14:41] Speaker A: something because of some lizard DNA they used. [00:14:43] Speaker C: Didn't come up in the last two movies, but sure, yeah, I. I mean, [00:14:48] Speaker B: I guess I just wasn't paying attention at that point. Like, I just didn't even care because I was like, okay, whatever. This doesn't. [00:14:54] Speaker C: I think. I think they painted themselves into a corner where they only have one raptor and they really wanted Blue to be a mother. [00:15:02] Speaker B: That's what I got out of that as well. Yeah. I was just like, this is the dumbest, laziest writing ever. I mean, we have all these dinosaurs with unknown origins because we had like a dozen in the last movie that got out. And now we have, you know, countless, countless species of stuff we've never even seen before. Well, the one just have somebody say, yeah, we made some more raptors along the way. [00:15:24] Speaker C: Sure. Exactly. That's exactly it. The ones in Switzerland or wherever they went. Somebody's going to fact check me on that. I'm sure that's not right. I'm okay with those ones because Henry Wu is there, the company is there, Biosynth is there. Sure, they made new dinosaurs. Who cares? But as far as all the ones, like, in the wild, like, is Biosynth releasing dinosaurs into the wild? Does it make sense, actually, when they're so profitable? [00:15:49] Speaker A: What is Dodgson trying to do in this movie? [00:15:55] Speaker C: He doesn't seem interested in money, so that makes no sense. I would have assumed that was the case because the whole Biosynth eating other crops so that your crops, the only ones that survive like that, is a megalomaniac way to get paid. Yeah, but if that's not what you're going for because you don't care enough about money because you're doing all this anyways, I don't really know. There are throwaway lines to being able to, like, cure diseases and Alzheimer's and things like that. Great. But he doesn't seem like a humanitarian, so. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Right. That was an act. He's in it for the money and the power. [00:16:27] Speaker C: But I don't know, money. Like, they're not looking like they're saying anything. [00:16:31] Speaker A: At the end. He says, money's easy to get. Don't worry about the money. [00:16:34] Speaker B: But we. [00:16:34] Speaker A: We'll just rebuild this whole thing. And you can. You can be the lead of it, because, you know, I think you should lead it. And the guy's like, I don't think [00:16:41] Speaker C: so, because he turned on me. [00:16:45] Speaker A: He was on against him the whole time, which was another just a Horrible, horrible turn of events. But anyway, I. I just didn't actually understand what Dodson wanted or. Or what he. His goals were. And so it really made for a bad villain because he was just hungry. He just wanted a bar. Hey, you got any food? That's all I got from him. [00:17:10] Speaker C: That was the only thing. [00:17:12] Speaker A: Oh, the whole thing was weird. [00:17:14] Speaker B: Did you guys care? The Easter egg of the shaving cream can. When he tripped at the end. He tripped and fell in the shaving cream can or whatever. That's pretty good. I like that. Why? [00:17:22] Speaker A: Why does he still have that? [00:17:24] Speaker C: So, again, in the cartoon, it's a whole thing, but he finds it in the cartoon. So, like, I don't know. [00:17:31] Speaker A: Original one. [00:17:32] Speaker C: Correct. [00:17:33] Speaker A: But it's still, like, in the movie [00:17:36] Speaker B: that had, like, buried in the mud. [00:17:38] Speaker A: When it got buried in the mud two, they said the embryos wouldn't last, like, past a day. [00:17:43] Speaker C: I don't. I don't think those embryos did anything. I think it's sentimental value. I don't know why he's sentimental to a Barbasol can. [00:17:50] Speaker A: Yeah, this failed. [00:17:51] Speaker C: I want to make sure I keep that rusty can. That shows me how I wasted money on Nedry. Let's keep it. I'm not playing where it comes from in the cartoon, which I guess is cartoon canon. I'm just. I'm telling you, I'm not saying, like, it's good writing. I'm just letting you know. [00:18:09] Speaker A: It just seems like another just, like, hard shoot in nostalgia clip so that people are like, oh, I remember the good old days. This movie's awesome. [00:18:19] Speaker B: No, no, it's just. It reminded me of how good this movie used to be. And then we're here. It's no good. [00:18:26] Speaker C: Now, I will jump off that nostalgia bait for a second there, because we do get the return of Laura Dern, Sam Neill, and Jeff Goldblum. And I'm actually incredibly happy that. At least. No, I'm happy all three of them were in this one. If only because that means that Jurassic Park 3 wasn't the last time we saw these characters. And I like Sam Neill a lot in this movie. [00:18:47] Speaker B: See, I wasn't a big fan of Sam Neill. Goldblum. Yeah, I loved Goldblum in this movie. [00:18:52] Speaker C: He had that much to do. [00:18:54] Speaker B: I felt like he played a great Malcolm in this movie and did really well as his original character. I felt Sam Neill didn't do a great job of Grant. Pretty good, but. But not great. And what's her name? The female actress? Yeah. Did not like her at All I thought her acting was just atrocious in this. It felt off the mark. It didn't feel on character and it felt like just plain bad acting to me. I wasn't excited about that. I'm glad they brought him back. I just wish that they would have been a little bit better. Like I said, Malcolm was fantastic. I thought that was great. [00:19:33] Speaker C: What are you. Were you happy to see them at all or. [00:19:36] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I mean, again, I'm trying to think of the positives of this movie and the nostalgia of having those characters come back and actually have the most to do in the movie. That felt good. I didn't mind any of the three characters. I thought Ian Malcolm or Jeff Goldblum specifically was like making fun of this movie because he knew it was a terrible movie, but within the character of Ian Malcolm. So it was like really meta but really fit the movie. And so he was my favorite part probably because he was the one that's like, I can say whatever I want. I can make a quick quit here because that's, that's kind of what my character does. And it doesn't really matter because I'm getting paid either way. And it was, it was good in that way. Although his storyline again, doesn't make any sense. [00:20:27] Speaker C: Yeah, that was more the thing. [00:20:29] Speaker A: His, his whole career is going against everything that this Bio Corp. Stands for. But he's got five kids and he's got no other way to make money. Obviously, as a world renowned figure in um, it kind of like in the [00:20:44] Speaker B: first one, didn't they bring him in as the chaos theorist to kind of like shoot down this idea of a dinosaur park? [00:20:51] Speaker A: Right. [00:20:51] Speaker B: Wasn't that kind of the idea. He was there. [00:20:54] Speaker C: He was there to endorse it one way or the other because the lawyer is the one that brought him in. Right. [00:20:58] Speaker B: And so they wanted somebody who was going to really critique the place. And that's kind of what I felt like he was doing here is he was being very critical of what was going on while making a buck. [00:21:07] Speaker A: I don't think so. I feel like in the original Jurassic park he was just like a hotshot name so it would get good publicity if he endorsed the park. But they didn't bring him in thinking he would, hoping he would. [00:21:23] Speaker B: Yes. [00:21:24] Speaker A: But he kind of countered them being like, why are you doing this? And was completely against it to their surprise. Whereas in this there's just no reason why he would ever work for this company. And then he's still bashing it the whole way through. And then he's turning on them halfway. [00:21:42] Speaker B: And they were him for bashing the company. [00:21:44] Speaker C: Company too. [00:21:44] Speaker A: It doesn't make any sense at all. And then they're like, why are you doing it? [00:21:48] Speaker B: And they started applauding. Applauding. I was like, wait, that's the end of the sp. Like, I didn't think that was the applause. [00:21:54] Speaker C: They were like, like standing ovation. And he just finished a sentence. I'm like, I would not have realized that was the end of the speech. [00:22:01] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:22:01] Speaker C: Based off that. It's like it was just a random sentence. I was like, yeah. In order to instigate revolutionary change, we must transform human consciousness. [00:22:24] Speaker A: He's like this celebrity scientist right in the world. And so everybody just gravitates towards him. I don't think he needs to work at this place to feed his five children. That's all I'm saying. I didn't buy it. [00:22:35] Speaker C: Biosynth seems pretty lucrative, so maybe they can pay him more than the average college campus can. But I agree, the. The idea that it's like, oh, I five kids get expensive. It's like, yeah, that you're not wrong. But also, you could have written books. You could have done a lot of stuff. Like, clearly, like In Jurassic Park 3, we see that, like there's a room full of people who just want to see Alan Grant talk about Jurassic Park. He was there too. I'm sure he could still fill a room and sell some tickets and do just fine. But sure. [00:23:04] Speaker A: It is what it is. They need. [00:23:05] Speaker C: We need an inside man. [00:23:07] Speaker A: Well, you know, one, they got two. Whatever, it doesn't matter. [00:23:10] Speaker B: Okay, let's flip to the other half of the cast from Jurassic World 1 and 2. We got, we got Star Lord and company again, comes in not on a motorcycle, in a pack of raptors this time, but riding horseback among some horse looking dinosaur. I don't even know what you call those ones with a big thing looks like a alien head or whatever. And he's, he's roping them and he's. Yeah. Hitting the reins and he's riding like he's been a cowboy his whole life. Oh, yes, all of them. That was the best. By the end of the movie, the entire cast is out there. [00:23:49] Speaker C: Just because it works. It works so well. Dinosaurs are like AI, they can't understand hands [00:23:59] Speaker B: like an old connect man. It was just ridiculous. I, I was just. There was so much going on with the both sides of the cast, really. But, but let's talk about that opening sequence when he comes in riding the Horse. I. You know, I had my notebook down to take some notes. That happened. I threw the notebook across the room. I'm like, I'm done. I don't need to take notes for this. We're not taking this movie serious. [00:24:23] Speaker C: You didn't believe in the magical power of a tree stump. Magical power of the tree stump. My good Lord. Like the dinosaurs pulling him just fine, but. Oh, he gets that pulley system. And done. Now I got. Now I'm controlling the dinosaur. So funny. [00:24:36] Speaker A: So funny. [00:24:37] Speaker B: Yeah. So. So weird again, you know? And what are they hurting. [00:24:44] Speaker C: What are they hurting the dinosaurs for? Because that was absolutely a cow scene, right? That was absolutely them herding cows. Like you would see in, like, City Slickers or any Western movie. [00:24:55] Speaker B: This was a western. Another Western scene where they had some cattle thieves that tried to pretend that they were the sheriff or whatever and got. Got caught, and then they were just outgunned. It was. It was a traditional cowboy scene where he's riding a horse. We never had him ride a horse the rest of the movie. [00:25:12] Speaker C: No, no, there was no need. [00:25:13] Speaker B: There was. [00:25:14] Speaker A: He should have been riding dinosaurs by the end, to be honest. [00:25:17] Speaker C: I mean, I'm shocked he wasn't. [00:25:19] Speaker B: Why not just have him riding a motorcycle again? Or a quad or something? Why did he have to be riding a horse? Because anybody with any amount of equestrian skill, or myself with no equestrian skill, I know that you can't just go from a motorcycle to a horse. And they're not the equivalent. Like, you need, like, a life experience to be lassoing. [00:25:38] Speaker C: Like, you're at the rodeo run. He's been doing this his whole life. [00:25:43] Speaker A: He's in the Navy, bud. He knows how to ride a horse. [00:25:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Too much. [00:25:52] Speaker A: Talking about Owen, AKA Chris Pratt, AKA Star Lord, I felt from the three movies, he was like, I'm taking this way too seriously. In the first movie, I'm gonna be. I'm an action star now. I have to be. They want me to be this cool, serious action star on screen, and that didn't do it for me. The second movie, however bad and horrible it was, he was like, you know what? I'm just gonna be me. And it was better. But then in this movie, it just seemed like, you know what? I've given up completely. I'm so bored of this. I'm just gonna literally deliver my lines and hold up my hand the whole time and not care at all about this movie. That's what came across to me for Chris Pratt's character. And on top of that, I felt all of the cast from OG Cast from Jurassic World really were just like, they're there. And it was more about the nostalgia crew coming back to carry this movie than it was about these primary characters that we've been following for the last two movies. And that felt weird as well. [00:26:55] Speaker C: I would agree heavily with that with Claire Bryce, Dallas Howard, where, like, it feels like in every movie, she is a completely different character with the same haircut. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:06] Speaker C: Like, in the first one, she is a control freak. She is running everything. She is in charge. The second one, she's PETA. PETA and just looking after them. And then this one, she's trying desperately to be a mother. She has no idea what she's doing, and she's just kind of along for the ride the entire time. And, like, I don't know if there was a character thing connecting her all the way through, other than she's got [00:27:28] Speaker A: the same hair color. [00:27:29] Speaker C: Yeah, pretty literally, pretty much. Yeah. [00:27:32] Speaker B: Well. And even I don't think she was [00:27:33] Speaker C: bad as an actress. I just don't know that she was the same character. [00:27:36] Speaker B: Even the tech dork had drastically different characters in this movie as well. They start out going to kidnap this dinosaur, or not kidnapped. They were going to break up, whatever, and they end up kidnapping a dinosaur. And their characters, the dino vet especially, seemed a little bit weird to me. And then the tech guy, I forget his name because I don't even care. He's like, I got a job offer and I got to take it. The next time we see him, he's working for MI6 or something. Like, he's a badass. All of a sudden, he totally changes his character completely. I thought, what, are they bringing in his twin brother or something? Because this is not the same guy. It was really weird. All the characters were different. I agree with Will, Chris Pratt's character. He did not care. He was, like, trying to be a Marlboro dad or something. Like, it wasn't even. I don't know what his character was, but it wasn't. I. Yeah, he didn't seem to care at all. That whole side. The Jurassic World cast was just terrible. As bad as the acting was of the other three, the Jurassic World characters just had nothing. They had nothing. No direction whatsoever with their characters. What's. It was terrible. [00:28:48] Speaker A: But they brought. But they brought in Launch Pad and she was cool. [00:28:57] Speaker B: The completely unrealistic. Like, if they met her at a bar in Tatooine, it wouldn't have been any more cliche. It was terrible. [00:29:07] Speaker A: Yeah, but she was cool. [00:29:10] Speaker C: I'M gonna come up and help you and tell you that you're in the wrong place But I also don't want anything to do with you Hey, I don't want anything to do with you Hey, I don't want anything to do with you. Okay, cool. I'll go to the dinosaur island with you. [00:29:19] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:29:20] Speaker C: You don't have to pay me. It's fine. I'll go for free. I'm pro bono soft spot for. [00:29:26] Speaker A: For child abductees. [00:29:29] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Just she or. Yeah. The direction in this movie was really bad. I just didn't know where anybody was supposed going, what we were supposed to end up with. I had no idea where this movie was going or where it came from. It was horrible direction all around. [00:29:46] Speaker C: The whole middle scene that took place in, I don't know, the desert. I'm just gonna say because I don't remember where in the world we are. Where there's like the underground market of dinosaurs, laser dinos. What the actual crap was going on there because, like you have a little couple of dinosaurs that I think are fighting essentially. And then all of a sudden these two gigantic, like, not quite Tyrannosaurus sized dinosaurs, but very large carnivores get loose and people are still paying attention to the fight. And I'm just like, why? Why? What is going on? How do you not know that this is going on behind you? Like, how high on whatever are you right now? [00:30:20] Speaker A: Just like in cafes and ride in their little scooters. Just dinosaurs coming and eating them off the street. [00:30:27] Speaker C: Nobody's like running around between the dinosaurs. [00:30:31] Speaker A: There's no news announcement saying stay indoors. Dinosaurs lose nothing. Like the world doesn't even realize there's dinosaurs living amongst them. [00:30:39] Speaker C: Well, like I, like I mentioned, I think it was last week, the week before, like the Shaun of the Dead thing where like very quickly they're just like, okay, there's just zombies everywhere. Like, is that how we feel about dinosaurs now? And if so, like, I think we saw more than 37 people die in this movie, let alone apparently over the entire last year, only 37 people died from dinosaurs. I was like, I think there's a lot of people dying that aren't getting reported. [00:31:00] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:31:00] Speaker A: But the difference is Shaun of the Dead did it. [00:31:04] Speaker C: Comedy. [00:31:04] Speaker A: Oh, well, yeah, it's a. Well, it's a comedy too. [00:31:08] Speaker C: Now, I will say, as much as the dinosaurs with the laser pointers makes. Doesn't make sense. And they didn't, they didn't explain that. So it's not like they Were going this way. This is entirely my own headcanon. Hello? Will I change? But he's still frozen. Oh, no, he's gone. The dinosaurs. Lazy pointers don't really make sense because obviously guns. The only thing I could think of, because I was trying to think of why they would possibly do this other than just it's a dinosaur movie, is if somebody gets shot, there's going to be a murder investigation. If somebody gets eaten, natural disaster, I guess, insurance. We'll see if we can get him back when we can. But no, again, I'm admitting that's weak size. Like, this is not me trying to defend this movie at the moment. I'm just saying, like, no, their, their [00:31:53] Speaker B: whole idea for laser pointing dinosaurs is just dumb. It's not founded on anything that makes any logical sense whatsoever. [00:32:00] Speaker C: Yeah, again, it was in the cartoon and in a kid's cartoon, that makes sense because you can't shoot people. But in the real world, which you're [00:32:08] Speaker B: telling me, this is what, you know, if they had some sort of a control mechanism where they can mount a camera on the dinosaur and sort of kind of steer them with a video game controller, send them into battle and somebody kind of pilot the dinosaur in some way, maybe, maybe there's a use for sending them in as a frontline soldier that, that could be used, utilized, you know, an organic drone basically is what they would be. Yeah, but yeah, this was terrible all around. Once again we get more laser pointer stuff, which doesn't even make sense. At least this one, she would like click the laser pointer on somebody and they would be marked and then they could just like go away. [00:32:47] Speaker C: Well, okay, so is the dinosaur just like, you're just praying the dinosaur recognizes him at that point? Because like, I would think like pheromone would make more sense. [00:32:54] Speaker B: You think? [00:32:55] Speaker C: Right. But like a laser pointed dinosaur, like, cool green jacket. I'm gonna chase the green jacket all over the city. Right, okay. [00:33:02] Speaker B: And I didn't really like the chase scenes with the raptors. They were exciting, I guess, but it was like, it was like a foot chase scene. And the raptors have notoriously been way faster than what they appeared to like. Like, at one point they're chasing somebody on a motorcycle. Another point they're chasing somebody on foot and they can't catch either of them. Like, how fast are you going? [00:33:23] Speaker C: They're going precisely one speed less than whatever they're chasing. [00:33:26] Speaker B: Yeah, it was, it was kind of ridiculous. [00:33:29] Speaker C: One of them caught a plane, they couldn't catch a car. They can catch A plane taking off. [00:33:34] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. So many of these weird things all just smashed together and none of it was the movie that I wanted. Except for the extended version, Dan, which you missed, unfortunately, I didn't see. [00:33:48] Speaker C: Was exactly what I actually wanted. [00:33:49] Speaker B: When they're chasing a T. Rex around, like it's everyday practice, they go into the movie theater, everybody's running scared and stuff's going down and you know, oh, he can't run forever. And it was kind of cool. It was. I was like, okay, this is cool. And all they did, they got me excited for what was not going to happen the entire rest of the movie. [00:34:10] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. And then. So, okay, in Jurassic park, the original, they have a park made for dinosaurs. And I get the impression that everything there. Like, sure, the dinosaurs take down the fence when there's no electricity, but other than that, everything there feels like it was built for dinosaurs, right? Like, the, The. The doors there look secure. And then we get this dinosaur sanctuary, which is built for dinosaurs. And everything is made of paper mache. Like, everything. [00:34:44] Speaker B: The dinosaurs break the windows. The bugs break the windows. [00:34:49] Speaker C: The containment unit. Why is the containment unit not built to contain? [00:34:55] Speaker B: Right. [00:34:55] Speaker C: Please tell me. I'm really curious. That. Oh, everything just, Just, just breaking so readily. The, The. The ship that he's on, like, his. The owner of the park's getaway chamber, that little subway thing in the basement, a dilophosaurus, or whatever that thing's called, the thing with the neck that spits out, breaks through and attacks him. Those things are like 38 pounds. Like, it wasn't even like a T. Rex broke in. It was like, okay, like, Maisie could have broke through that window a manhandled [00:35:26] Speaker A: one of those things. [00:35:28] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. That was actually kind of fun anyway, but it was just one of those, like, I can't. I can't wrap my head around who built this park. Like, why did you say, like, John Hammond spared no expense. You spared every expense. You were just like, no, no, let's save. Let's cut corners here. Like, who needs glass? [00:35:43] Speaker B: You know what? I was super excited. We did have the return of Owen's pocket knife. He took down the world's biggest carnosaur with his pocket knife there at the end. The dinosaur breaks the giga gantasaurus, whatever, sticks its head to the window, and Chris Pratt jumps up, he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, stabbing him in the nose. I mean, there was some other stuff that happened, too, but it was the pocket knife that killed that dinosaur. The world's greatest pocket knife. [00:36:08] Speaker C: I couldn't believe when he fell into [00:36:11] Speaker A: that ice cold water. How did he keep that knife on him? [00:36:14] Speaker B: There's. [00:36:14] Speaker A: There's no way. Because he had it out when he was around running through the ice. And then he falls through. That knife is so gone. And then it's just right back on him. [00:36:23] Speaker B: Yep. [00:36:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:24] Speaker A: Also, the whole plane didn't go into the water, but Chris Pratt fell. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Right, right. The plate. Yeah. Under the ice. [00:36:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Oh, claws was cool. I like the dinosaur with the big claws. That was fun. [00:36:39] Speaker C: They were a little too sharp for me. Like the fact that the jigsaws just like touched them and was impaled all the way through. I'm like, okay, what kind of wolverine shit's going on here? [00:36:47] Speaker A: Like, also, it was just. [00:36:49] Speaker B: By this time I was like, I don't care what happens. Let's just see some neat shit. Like, I didn't. I was like, I mean, when, when the, when the T. Rex walks behind the big circle at the end so you could see logo, right? I was like, they're, they're not stopping at anything. They're just gonna put everything out there in this movie. Whatever. They think they're just gonna cram it in here whether it makes sense or not. And none of it made sense. [00:37:13] Speaker C: I mean, it was bad. But I'm glad at least he didn't like sit there and roar and do like the exact pose. Like he just kind of like walked past it. I'm like, it's so cheesy. But like, I'll give you the tiniest point for not just like stopping dead and like opening his mouth the exact amount like, like the MGM lion just rolling in the circle clean. There was, there was one delivery in this. Cuz like I didn't mind the acting nearly as much as you apparently did. The. The one guy on the inside, Ramsey, I believe his name was, who was like showing them around. [00:37:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:49] Speaker C: And then at one point he's just like, I'm going to let you explore on your own. [00:37:54] Speaker B: I'm going to be gone for 30 minutes. [00:37:55] Speaker C: Make sure. Damn thought, guys, come on. [00:38:01] Speaker B: It was so bad. [00:38:03] Speaker C: That's my point that I was trying to make. But whatever. [00:38:05] Speaker B: I looked over at my 8 year old and I go, he's setting him up, right? And my 8 year old's all, yeah, dad, yeah, he's setting him up. Okay, okay. [00:38:13] Speaker C: It was incredibly bad acting for all of a sudden he's just like, I'm going to leave you guys alone. Use those elevators. Not those elevators. That Take you exactly where you want to go. Yeah, elevators. Okay, bye. And I'm just like. I rolled my eyes so hard it hurt. Like, it actually physically hurt me. And then when you see. And he's like, oh, he's on the inside. That was entirely like. He was kind of supposed to be bad acting in that sense, right? [00:38:33] Speaker B: Yeah, he was. He was definitely. Yeah, he was setting him up. When they meet Maisie, Dr. Grant and Maisie and. And Laura or whatever names, they bump into each other. They all know each other, and they're just suddenly like, yeah, let's escape together. Like, they're all on the same page instantaneously because she read Dr. Grant's book or something. Yeah, it was a little forced, right? That was a forced moment of just like, hey, we got to move the plot along. Let's just skip this and get going. [00:39:01] Speaker A: Did you see how long this movie was? Come on, they're saving you, man. [00:39:05] Speaker C: This is the longest one yet, right? Like, of all the Jurassic Parks. [00:39:08] Speaker A: Felt long. Felt long. [00:39:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Felt terribly long. [00:39:11] Speaker C: But, I mean, like, the first one's like an hour and a half. Like, it's tight. Yeah, I think. And this is like two and a half hours, and it's like, there's some bloat. Ironically, I say that as, like, now I want to go back and watch, like, the extended version. But, like, there's bloat in the wrong places is what I'm actually getting at. This is not the movie that I wanted. The movie I wanted was cut and left on the, you know, director's floor, which is really frustrating for me. [00:39:31] Speaker A: The movie they gave trailers for for the last three movies was cut. [00:39:35] Speaker C: Yeah, well, even, like I told you guys last week, there's the. The, like, eight minute, like, scene of them going, like, camping or something, and all of a sudden, the campground gets attacked. We see a tiny little bit of that, I think, in this, like, and now this, like, YouTube footage at the very beginning of this movie. And I was like, okay, that's kind of cool they referenced that, because I remember watching that footage. But again, that's what I wanted the two hours of this to be is just like, here's humans, here's dinosaurs. How do they coexist? [00:39:59] Speaker B: And finally get that in. In Jurassic World after birth. I don't know. We'll just have to see. [00:40:04] Speaker C: I definitely want to touch on that because from the trailer that I saw of Rebirth, again, like, we're going back to another island with dinosaurs on it. And, like, if dinosaurs are just loose in the real world, where the heck are we going? And I'm asked that rhetorically because I don't care. But like, yeah, what is going on? Like, they're not like, Isla Nublar is gone. Isla Sorna is. You know. Haven't talked about that in six movies. Where does this island has dinosaurs on? [00:40:30] Speaker A: Are they going back to the island? [00:40:31] Speaker B: Are they going to this Skull Island? It's going to be a King Kong crossover. [00:40:36] Speaker C: It probably would make more sense in the trailer. If I remember correctly, there is Mayan ruins cut into the mountainside. Doesn't really make sense if we're in Europe. [00:40:47] Speaker A: Yeah, who knows? [00:40:48] Speaker C: Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, whatever. At this point. Do whatever you want to do. [00:40:51] Speaker A: Yeah, do whatever. [00:40:52] Speaker C: I love that Brian's. One of Brian's biggest complaints with this movie is that he's riding a horse. Like, that was unrealistic too. [00:40:56] Speaker B: I'm like, oh, okay, it didn't look good. That's one of the things I'm docking this movie for. I thought the special effects were trash. Everything looked fake and cheesy and dumb and the animatronics were terrible. Those baby triceratops were not cute. They just looked like robot baby triceratops. I. I wasn't, I wasn't impressed with the look of this movie. [00:41:16] Speaker C: I'm gonna fight you on that one a little bit. There were certain scenes that I thought looked incredible. Like the. For me, the opening scene was the scene on the boat where the. Whatever came up and ate the thing. That scene looked amazing in 4K. Like, that looks so good. And then you got other scenes that I thought looked quite nice. Mostly, again, not the signs of the dinosaurs, ironically, but you had like some of the scenes with the raptors. Like, he looks so superimposed. Blue looks so super. And the baby, it was almost like it was something like who Framed Roger Rabbit? Like, over top of. And I was just like, how does it. How is it that bad in 2025? But then there's other scenes where I'm like, I'm watching like a 4K television. I'm like, this looks so good. And it was just back and forth. Just like this movie was kind of yo yoing for me, where there are parts that I really enjoyed and then parts that I couldn't stand at all. And I'm just like, I don't, I don't know how I feel about this movie because, like, you keep teasing me with these interesting ideas and then throwing a laser guided raptor at me and I'm like, I. I'm out well, Chris [00:42:17] Speaker B: Pratt riding the horse. That early scene looked so terrible to me. I could ride this chair better than he wrote. That animatronic horse or whatever it was. That saddle on wheels that they had. Oh, yeah. I mean, here's. Here's me as Chris Pratt. I'm riding my horse. Just put some moving background here on my green screen. [00:42:38] Speaker C: Oh, I'm gonna superimpose something here. [00:42:41] Speaker B: That was it. It was so. It was so terrible. It looked horrible. I couldn't believe that, you know, and he's like. He's like roping the dinosaur in one throw and stuff. It was. It was terrible. And then the end sequence when the gigasaurus breaks through the window at the top of that tower that they climbed into. I still don't even know why they climbed to that tower. I wasn't paying any attention. [00:43:02] Speaker C: They wanted to be a height level, [00:43:04] Speaker B: so you can see they're throwing chopsticks at it or whatever they were doing to get it out of the window. It was this really wonky looking animatronic thing. It was kind of jerky and it just looked terrible. It looked so terrible to me. [00:43:15] Speaker C: I also. Sorry, they don't touch on this. I was going to try and be the positive one on this one, but it's really tough. They don't mention anything about the Gigantosaurus having eyesight like the Tyrannosaurus does, where it reacts to movement. And as soon as they see that thing, they're like, don't move. And they wait for it to get like five feet away from them and [00:43:32] Speaker B: then they all turn and run. [00:43:34] Speaker C: And I'm like, why did you run [00:43:36] Speaker B: away when it was far away? [00:43:37] Speaker C: We've proven we can outrun these things [00:43:38] Speaker B: right in front of it. And they all just together, not even really fast, they all just kind of jog away. [00:43:44] Speaker C: They're not worried about this thing whatsoever. They are just slightly jogging away. They run behind the vehicle. They wait behind the vehicle until it comes around and looks at them. And then they go around the other side of the vehicle again. I'm like. [00:43:52] Speaker A: Like, [00:43:55] Speaker B: they do that thing and I hate when movies do this, but, like, they try to make it look like it's going to be a closer call than. Than you think it's going to be. But they kind of screw the timing up. And you're like, I'm 100% sure that dinosaurs should have eaten them, but they missed. And it was that way when they're, like, climbing up that ladder and it goes to bite the ladder or something, you know, it was like the dinosaur teeth are coming in and she's climbing the ladder and she's climbing the ladder and she's climbing the ladder and then the dinosaur teeth actually hit the ladder. And I was like, wait a minute. There was, there was a G. Like it didn't work. I hate when movies do that. They overplay that thing. [00:44:28] Speaker C: I don't know how tall that ladder is, but they, the dinosaur, like one person is halfway up, they rip the cage off of it. And in the time that it takes them to like, get that cage out of his mouth, the other six people are already up that ladder. And I'm just like, maybe one person, maybe one other person has made it up that ladder by now. [00:44:46] Speaker B: As the Runway in Fast and Furious is long and then suddenly it's like two feet high and they all just jump up and they're there. It's. Yeah, I just, I hate when, when Hollywood does that, when they don't pay attention to things and it is so unrealistic. I, I make the quip about the Fast and Furious Runway, but, you know, they, they did time that and that Runway would have been like 60 miles long to make the Fast and Furious sequence. [00:45:11] Speaker C: Oh, we'll get there, don't you worry. In a long enough timeline, our rating will do. Fast and Furious seven, baby. [00:45:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I just, I, I don't like when, when Hollywood screws with me like that. You know, you've got a dinosaur chasing a person. That's scary. Just make it real, make it look real to me and it'll be, it'll be scary and exciting in its own. [00:45:31] Speaker A: So I said last week that I was going to try and watch this movie and pull out as much positivity as I could. And then instead I found a company called Colossal. And I don't know if you all have heard about this, but they are the real life Jurassic park biotech company that have just deemed dire wolves back into existence. They bred three wolves and gave them some dire wolf DNA. So they're not real dire wolves or gray wolves with some DNA of dire wolves. But hey, it's a start and they're actually working towards getting woolly mammoths back on the earth. Like that is one of their major goals. And it's like watching Jurassic park all over again. They've got a website and they talk about the animals they want to bring back, dodo birds and the reasons why they want to bring back some of these animals. And it is like real life Jurassic park. And I was so into that. So much more than this movie. And it made me so happy. It made me so happy. [00:46:41] Speaker C: I sent you guys the link in chat. I was just like, at this point, Jurassic Park's inevitable. Like, we've got the clothing technology down. We're bringing things back from the dead. Like, wait for it in my lifetime. A dinosaur will be back. Some variety. [00:46:54] Speaker B: I remember a long time ago, just after Jurassic park came out, the sheep, right? Somebody cloned a sheep, I thought. And then there was like a rumor going around that somebody cloned a human being. But they never proved it was real. And I never heard anything more about any of that. [00:47:13] Speaker C: Yeah, I never heard about the human. Whether that was I like either way, [00:47:17] Speaker B: sure, that was a bunch of bs, but still, it's cool. [00:47:21] Speaker A: I'm not sure. I. I was. I kind of went down a rabbit hole. There was like this podcast I started listening to called really? Not really with old George Costanza Alexander, what's his name? Anyway, you know, George from Costanza from Seinfeld. And he has this podcast where he brings on random guests and one of them was the co creator of this colossal. And they're talking about bringing woolly mammoths back to life. And Jason Alexander's like, really? No, really, that's what you want to do. You want to do Jurassic Park. And then this guy talks about what they actually are intending and what they really want to do is environmentally alter dine or not. Dinosaurs, elephants, they want to make them more durable in cold climates because elephants are kind of on the brink of extinction. Their. Their numbers are dwindling all over the world. And so if they can allow them some woolly mammoth DNA and get them a little heftier, they can traverse into colder climates where there's less people, like where the permafrost is and things like that. And not only will that increase their chance of survival, but it will also help the permafrost areas in the world because they need. They need these big animals to like tromp down the snow and keep the permafrost from melting away so fast as it is. So there's like multiple reasons why they want to bring back woolly mammoth myths, but it's actually that they're trying to save endangered species and now bring back like the dodo bird because it was like a national treasure of wherever. [00:49:07] Speaker C: I mean, Dodgson had some pretty good reasons for why he wanted to bring dinosaurs back, if you actually believe what he says. So who knows? [00:49:14] Speaker A: Yeah, so. But it was, it was actually interesting to hear the reasoning, not just, hey, we want to Make a park. Which is, you know. [00:49:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:21] Speaker A: A reason in itself, but like. Like to actually help with climate control. Because in the permafrost regions of the world, there's great amounts of methane gas under the permafrost and if it melts, that could be released and it could be world changing. Exactly. So getting these elephants to get, you know, hardy so they can live in these areas and prevent the permafrost from melting, it's like a whole lot of reasons of good intentions as to why they want this to happen. Whether or not it should happen is still, of course, in the air, but [00:49:56] Speaker B: it was interesting here. This planet from one end to the other. Let's make some woolly mammoths. I don't care why. Put a saddle on them and let my kid ride him in the Walmart parking lot. I don't give a. But let's make them. Let's do it. [00:50:09] Speaker C: I can't wait to edit this video. Leaving Brian getting a phone call, dogs barking, swearing all the time. This. [00:50:18] Speaker A: So anyway, I'm just saying thank you, Jurassic World, Dominion, for being so terrible that I found something so cool and interesting on the Internet to look up and dive into instead of waste my time researching anything about this movie. So this movie. You know what? I was surprised I did look up on Rotten Tomatoes. Of course, criticism just can this movie. It is the lowest rated of the three movies. Who knows where afterbirth's gonna land, but we'll deal with that when it's first, I guess. This movie, on the other hand, the audience score was like. At 77. Like audiences really enjoyed this movie. Some. For some reason it doesn't feel like any of us really enjoyed it. I feel like this one is actually worse than Dominion. Dominion was two separate movies. One was meh and one was huh. This is like six concepts rolled into one. None of them done well at all. The direction there, it wasn't even shot nice. Like Dominion at least had a nice. A good director that like made beautiful shots and it looked gorgeous. This movie didn't even have that. Brian mentioned, like the CGI didn't look as good. I agree with that. The animatronics, they use the most animatronics in this movie of the three Jurassic worlds. And they looked bad. The writing was even worse. I feel the characters were even worse. The actors cared even less. Nothing about this movie is better than the previous movie. And the previous movie was hogwash. So 34 out of 100, for me, this is. It's not even. It's not even Funny to watch it. It's just sad. It's just sad to watch it. I recommend doing almost anything else. [00:52:13] Speaker C: That is a brutally low score. [00:52:15] Speaker A: That is. [00:52:16] Speaker C: Let's see. Yeah, that's just. Well, it's. It's higher than Highlander, I'll give you that. Your. Your Highlanders. [00:52:23] Speaker B: And, you know, is that shocking to you? Blue Lightning, you talk about. Audiences gave it a 77. You gotta remember, audiences are the people who wanted to go see the movie in the first place. [00:52:38] Speaker A: Right. [00:52:39] Speaker B: Critics are people who are like us, forcing ourselves to watch everything whether we want to or not. [00:52:47] Speaker A: Here's the one problem with that, is that they teased exactly what Dan wanted was a movie where dinosaurs live amongst people. And how do we deal with that? You wanted it as well. [00:53:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:53:01] Speaker A: That's what audiences were expecting, and that is not what they got. So what did they enjoy with this movie? That's. That's my biggest question is what did audiences enjoy from this movie? Because we didn't get anything that the trailer showed for the last two or three movies. [00:53:17] Speaker B: And honestly, I don't feel that we got anything new. There was not a new thing that happened other than the. The Locusts, which were a slap in the face. It wasn't even Jurassic. It was Freaking Locust. Right. Dino Crickets. It was stupid. And so we didn't even get anything new in this one. So you're right. I don't understand the 77. But I. I always think that the. The audiences are. They don't know what the hell they're talking about. I hate audience ratings. [00:53:46] Speaker C: I think they're ridiculously rigged or something. [00:53:47] Speaker A: So please, like and subscribe. Okay. [00:53:55] Speaker B: Going into this, I felt I'm looking across my scores here and across the board. Everything came in less than Jurassic World 2 was Fallen Kingdom. [00:54:07] Speaker C: Fallen Kingdom. [00:54:08] Speaker B: Fallen Kingdom. So Dominion was that much worse than Fallen Kingdom. Just cutting right to it. This is a 42. This. This movie isn't watchable. I would recommend this to anybody, even fans of the series. I say skip it. This was a total waste of my time. I didn't enjoy it. There's no redeeming quality about this whatsoever. Terrible movie. [00:54:32] Speaker C: Wow. All right. [00:54:35] Speaker A: Dan's gonna bring this score way up. [00:54:37] Speaker C: I mean up, but not way up. I'm just looking through previous scores. Curiosity. [00:54:44] Speaker B: I'm kind of blown away because I'm looking back on my previous scores of Jurassic World 1, 2, and 3, and I just had a lot of fun watching Jurassic World 1 and wasn't so upset by it. I guess the one good shining light I can say in Jurassic World, Dominion was. Malcolm's character was in this. I enjoyed his character. I enjoyed that he did make some quips, much like we talked about in Jurassic Park 2. Yeah, Jurassic Park 2. [00:55:12] Speaker A: 2, 2. You're right. [00:55:13] Speaker B: Jurassic Park 2. When Malcolm came in and Malcolm basically, he didn't quite break the fourth wall, but he alluded to all the short, the plot in the script with quips and one liners. He did a little bit of that in this movie also. Just kind of making fun of everything that was stupid in this movie. And there was ample opportunities for that. That was probably the, the one highlight of this entire movie was that. And it, and like you will said, didn't really make sense that he was in this movie. [00:55:40] Speaker C: So, yeah, [00:55:46] Speaker A: hey, we're done after this for a while. We're done with dinosaurs. [00:55:50] Speaker C: I really, I really wish we'd taken like two months and then come back to this movie. And like, I'm not saying your scores would be drastically different, but I would be curious to see what your scores were Jurassically different. Not with a D, but I'd be curious at least. Right. Because we took a couple of weeks off, did other movies and then came back to Jurassic World. And Brian had a great time watching Jurassic World. And then for the last two weeks we have much more and his scores plummeted. And no, I'm not saying that either these movies are as good as Jurassic World, so there's that as well. But like, what if we had taken a three year break because these movies came out like, what, 2015 to 2019. That's not as much. Yeah. [00:56:33] Speaker A: In 2022 or something. [00:56:34] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:56:38] Speaker B: Expectations to definitely play a role in my scoring for these films. Because I was expecting something for JW2 and we didn't get that. And I thought, well, surely they're gonna give it to me in JW3. We didn't get that. So that, that bothered me that, like, right off the bat, it kind of offended me. This one even teased me with the extended footage that I paid for to watch the T. Rex. And I'm like, sweet, I'm gonna get it. Nope, we're just showing you what you're not gonna get. And so, yeah, I was pissed off. It's pissed off. [00:57:11] Speaker C: All right. Okay. So we've been talking negatively about this movie for the last hour. So I didn't hate this movie nearly as much as the other two guys did. I didn't love this movie by any stretch the imagination. The five categories I normally go over I thought the sound was actually pretty decent in this one. As per usual. The dinosaurs sounded good. The music doesn't bother me. I am always a little bit nervous about the music in these movies because I know how much Brian is over the Jurassic park theme. I still love the Jurassic park theme. So when they bring it in, that is still a bit of a bonus for me. We got it quite a bit in this one, probably more than we actually needed it, but I didn't hate it. The cinematography, this sounds weird. Other than the dinosaurs actually looks really good. There's a couple of scenes in this where I was actually taken aback watching it on my tv, where I'm just like, this looks incredible. I mentioned the boat scene at the very beginning. That was the one where, like, right off the hop, I was like, this looks. Looks phenomenal. And then you get some other scenes where the dinosaurs are actually in it. You're like, this does not hold up nearly as well. It was a little bit off for me. The acting. I can definitely see what the other guys are saying about Owen. What's Owen's name? Chris Pratt and. And Bryce Dallas Howard. But I actually liked Laura Dern, Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum in this movie quite a bit. And I would have been okay with, honestly, more of them and less of the Jurassic World cast. Obviously, the whole point is to get both of them. So the acting was actually okay for me. The plot of this one, it wants so hard to be good, and it just isn't. Dinosaurs in the real world is a great starting place. If you want to give me Claire and Owen struggling, his parents to raise a clone that isn't theirs. That's kind of interesting. If you want to give me Grant and Sattler investigating Biosynth because they're, you know, essentially the Monsanto Corporation. That's kind of interesting to me. And instead, it all just culminates in, you know, a black market and the dinosaur park that we've seen a thousand times. And it's just like, why. Why did we get here when you had so many other options to go? And it just feels like maybe Colin Trevorrow wanted to make one movie and was forced to make another one. And it was really frustrating to watch because this movie had me yo, yo. In between really cool ideas and really terrible ideas. And I don't know. I didn't hate it as much as the other two guys did, but it didn't love it. I didn't. I didn't love it. I gave this one A62. So it's significantly higher than the other two, but it's still the lowest of, I think, everything, except for maybe Jurassic Park 3. [00:59:32] Speaker A: This makes Jurassic Park 3 look good, man. [00:59:35] Speaker C: I disagree with that wholeheartedly. I. I completely disagree with that. [00:59:39] Speaker A: Jurassic Park 3 was a tight 90. You knew exactly what was going to happen. It happened, and so just get on the ride and go, this. You didn't want to know what was going to happen next. Next. You just wanted it to be over, and it just relented to ever end. [00:59:57] Speaker C: I will, absolutely. You're not wrong. This movie was too long. [01:00:01] Speaker B: You know, it. It really did feel like two completely different plot lines that accidentally bumbled into each other at the end of the movie. Right? You had the parents trying to rescue Maisie, and you had Neil and Laura going after the Locusts, and they just stumbled across each other at the same time. Like, those two things did not have to cross, at least have to come together. [01:00:30] Speaker A: You know what? [01:00:30] Speaker C: I didn't hate the Locust if the whole point of the movie was, you know, Dodgson wants to get as rich as possible, and he's got these evil schemes, and then he doesn't care about money, and I'm just like, so, what are we doing? And then Henry Wu saves the day by letting one Locust out into the world. That's going to somehow change the entire locust population. Like, I was waiting [01:00:51] Speaker B: and grab that bug out of the air. That would have been so funny to me. [01:00:56] Speaker C: That actually would have been pretty, pretty hilarious. [01:00:59] Speaker A: Dr. Wu's redemption arc over these six movies is just incredible. [01:01:03] Speaker C: He's another one that just didn't feel like the same character whatsoever in the first movie. In Jurassic park, he feels. I don't want to say one of the heroes, but, like, he is a good person. Or at least you get the impression he's a good person. He's just doing this science, and then somehow he turns into a villain in Jurassic World and Dominion. And then this one, he's like, I'm so sorry for what I did. I can't believe I made locusts that are gonna kill the whole population. You're like, well, what were you thinking they were gonna do? Like, it's Locust. Like, one person makes the jokes because [01:01:31] Speaker B: they made him wear Mr. Rogers sweatshirt through the whole movie. [01:01:35] Speaker A: That's because he's good now. [01:01:36] Speaker B: So he has to have that nice neutral black turtleneck. They put him in his sweater. [01:01:41] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly. So good. [01:01:45] Speaker B: That's another thing I don't like in movies is when the villain Comes out wearing all black or all dark clothing. It's, like, so obvious. It's like, come on. I look forward to when they do that. But then they do, like, a switcheroo, and they're actually the good person, but they make you think that they're the bad person with all the usual tropes that they do, but that almost never happens. It's usually they just dress them in black and like, yep, that's a villain. [01:02:06] Speaker C: And there we have Jurassic World. We are done. Three of the four. The fourth one's not even out yet. And this franchise has fallen significantly from after movie came out. It is now above Venom, but below Gremlins, coming in with a 57 for our rating. What do you guys think with this? Is this still. Oh, and by the way, I got my green color back, so I'm. I'm. I'm still keeping my petition alive. Except for Venom. [01:02:30] Speaker B: This is. This is accurate for me. [01:02:33] Speaker A: I would love to see this below Venom, actually. [01:02:36] Speaker C: Wow. Yeah, fair enough. [01:02:41] Speaker A: The. The insult to my eyes, my mind, my body, my soul. This movie was not made for people who love movies. This movie was made for. I don't know who this movie was made for. I really don't. [01:02:59] Speaker B: This. This movie, this franchise was made to make money. That's all. [01:03:03] Speaker C: It was exactly amazing at that. Oh, oops. [01:03:06] Speaker B: And I'm starting to get frustrated that people are still going to these, because after what I just watched, there should not be a Jurassic park rebirth. There really shouldn't be. At this point. I am so done with this franchise. It's. It's upsetting to me that I'm gonna have to go watch another one, you know? So the one thing I can say, I'm glad we split it apart from Jurassic park, because Jurassic park would have been taken underneath Evil Dead with these ratings. I think I'm just off the napkin math here. So I'm glad we did split it apart, because I do think that Jurassic park is a better franchise than Jurassic World. I think they tried in Jurassic Park. They might have failed hard in some of them, but they tried hard. And in Jurassic World, I don't feel like they tried hard at all. I feel, especially Dominion. I feel like they all gave up and accepted a paycheck. [01:04:03] Speaker C: I think both franchises have a really solid first movie, and it falls apart entirely from there. I know Will's going to disagree with me on that, but I feel like Jurassic park and Jurassic World are both pretty darn watchable, and then the other ones kind of happen, because, of course, they do all three of these movies made over a billion dollars. Like of course they're making another one. [01:04:26] Speaker A: I'm just upset that Steven Spielberg let this happen. [01:04:31] Speaker C: I don't. What could he do about it? He could always so anti Steven Spielberg [01:04:37] Speaker A: because he's a good director and he's made great movies, but now he's obviously just paychecking it. [01:04:43] Speaker B: Yeah, he's. [01:04:44] Speaker A: He's. He's getting. He's getting paid big bucks for this. So he's part of the problem. He obviously doesn't care about the quality either. Otherwise it wouldn't be what this is. That's why I'm hating on Steven Spielberg. [01:04:58] Speaker C: What does he have to do with this? Is he a producer? [01:05:00] Speaker A: Yeah, he's produced all of them. [01:05:04] Speaker C: Interesting. [01:05:07] Speaker A: Do you even watch these movies, Dan? [01:05:10] Speaker C: I don't look at the credits that hard. [01:05:14] Speaker B: I don't know. When we go into Jurassic Park Rebirth, I'm not going to be watching the movie very hard. This is. I. I have. [01:05:22] Speaker C: I'm kind of glad that there's like. I am kind of glad there's like a solid two months between now and then. [01:05:27] Speaker A: Brian, you'll be fine. It's got ScarJo in it. You'll be okay. [01:05:30] Speaker B: You know what? I have heard some interesting things about Scarlett Johansson. Her desire to be in the franchise and what she did in preparation for the movie and what they wanted her to do during the movie and stuff. Some very interesting stuff that I wanted to read up on a little bit more that intrigues me. I don't have a problem with Scarlett Johansson. She's neither amazing nor bad for me. I enjoy most of everything she does. And I think she has an incredibly talented actress for the most part. [01:05:54] Speaker A: Start. [01:05:56] Speaker B: So we'll see. But I am setting the lowest of standards for this next movie. You know, there are other franchises with more films that do dumber things that I can still go and kind of enjoy. But Jurassic World has now twice just really upset me with what I thought I was going into. I go into a fast and furious movie. I know what I'm getting. It's the same thing as the last movie, just louder and faster and. And that's fine. I know what. I'm furious and more furious. Yes, it's faster and it's furious. Or 2 or 3 or 10 times or numerals furious. I mean, it's pretty soon it's gonna be too fast in space or something. You know how movies go. They gotta go into space. [01:06:41] Speaker C: That's happened. [01:06:42] Speaker B: Leprechaun space man. I saw that was great. That was great. When that franchise went into space. Hey, let's put Leprechaun on the list. We should go over that fridge. [01:06:48] Speaker C: Oh, man, I've never seen any of them but this. [01:06:52] Speaker B: We gotta get Leprechaun on the list. If Dan hasn't seen him. [01:06:56] Speaker C: We just passed St. Patrick's Day, right? Ah, we missed it. [01:07:01] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll get it on the next year. [01:07:02] Speaker A: We'll get it. [01:07:02] Speaker B: We'll get it next time. [01:07:03] Speaker C: We'll still be here. [01:07:04] Speaker B: Jurassic park or Jurassic World, I should say. Fooled me. And. And I thought I was getting something, and I didn't get it. That. That really upsets me when they pitch it to you one way and then just take the paycheck. [01:07:16] Speaker C: All right, that's our rating of Jurassic World. Dominion. But what's yours? Let us know in the comments down below. We record these live over at Twitch TV themongoolieshow. So head over there and hit the follow button if you want to see that. Or hit like and subscribe on this video. If you made it this far, you probably did enjoy it as it does. Help the channel out, and you'll get to see more great videos going forward. Until next time, though, I hope you're safe. I hope you're well. Have a good night. [01:07:47] Speaker A: It.