Ep 41 - Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Jurassic World Rebirth 2025. An experienced special ops team of mercenaries is hired for a time sensitive mission to collect blood samples from three of the largest animals on Earth. Not only will completing the mission set them up with a huge payday, but it could put an end to microcardio Mike. Wow. Myocardial infarctions worldwide. Those are heart attacks. I screwed it up. It's fine. Let's get into the movie. [00:00:37] Speaker B: Heart disease. Heart disease. [00:00:38] Speaker C: Heart disease. [00:00:39] Speaker A: That's right. Heart disease. [00:00:52] Speaker C: Hello, everybody, and welcome back to our rating. The show where I get together with two of my buddies, we take a look at a movie franchise, break it down by movie, give them individual scores, give them an overall score, throw them up on the board to see where they land compared to the other movie franchises. As always, I am joined by Will and Brian. Brian, how are you doing? You were off on a long trip for last week, and that's why we're recording this a little bit later. [00:01:12] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. It was a. It was a good trip back to Oregon, see the family. But I had major flight issues and hotel issues. The vacation itself was great, but the traveling and accommodations were. Were kind of a nightmare. I actually recorded this in Salt Lake City Airport. And then you guys decided to push back a day so that I could join you for this wonderful discussion of Jurassic World. [00:01:37] Speaker C: I feel like it was the right call. And Will, you were also away a little bit of a mini vacation over the last week, right? [00:01:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I went to Prince Edward Island. Uh, you know, just getting some beach days in, staying in a cabin, chilling like a villain. It was good times. And now I'm back. I think I'm getting sick. So perfect. [00:01:56] Speaker C: Fantastic timing. At least you weren't sick while you're on the road, I guess. [00:01:59] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:02:00] Speaker C: So, Will, you and I watched this movie in time for last week's R rating, which didn't end up happening. So it's been a minute since we've seen this one. Brian, when did you get a chance to check this one out? [00:02:12] Speaker B: I think I went. I don't know. I kind of lost track of time since I've been traveling right. Time zones and I'm not paying attention to what day it is because we're just going by our schedul. I saw like four days ago with my father, and it was really kind of cool because the very first Jurassic park movie is the first movie I remember seeing in theaters with my father. I was 11 years old back in 93, and I got to go see this movie, which could be the last One in the franchise with my father and my eldest son. He was also 11. He, he really enjoys the Jurassic park franchise. And by the way, he enjoyed this movie going and seeing it in theaters. So it was a fun little kind of thing. [00:02:54] Speaker C: Nice. Yeah. I took my, my twin daughters and one of their friends and they all enjoyed it immensely. So I'm not gonna lie, that might have had an impact on my overall score as well. Now, we are going to try and keep this a little bit spoiler free for the first couple of minutes. Just give you an overall thought. So if you haven't seen the movie yet and you're curious, you can stick around for about 10 minutes. So we're not gonna have the spoiler banner at the bottom, but I will just kind of like tell you when we're going to get into it. So you're free to stick around for a little bit. But I mean, realistically, I don't know there's anything we can spoil about this movie that you didn't see in the trailers. So use your own discretion. You kind of know whether or not you want to watch this, I would assume. [00:03:27] Speaker A: Well, that said, I went with my wife opening night and she's a big Jurassic park fan. Has watched all of the movies multiple on opening nights. You know, like some. Doesn't like some as much. [00:03:39] Speaker C: Sure. [00:03:40] Speaker A: But specifically we, we saw a Screen X viewing. Has anybody heard of the Screen X Cineplex Odeons as this? [00:03:49] Speaker C: Is that the ones where they're like, where there's like atmosphere, like they actually like spritz you with water and stuff? [00:03:56] Speaker A: I wish. No, instead they have like the main screen, which is normal, and then they have like two side screens along the walls of the auditorium. [00:04:04] Speaker C: Interesting. [00:04:05] Speaker A: Like two projectors on either side there. And it's so bad. I, I just. [00:04:12] Speaker C: Super distracting. [00:04:13] Speaker A: It's super distracting because one, it's not there the whole movie. It just comes in and out in different scenes. So like big, you know, like atmospheric scenes or big fields or whatever that they'll. They'll put it on. It's just like bong. It's there and like, it lights up the whole auditorium. It's so stupid. And then it's also like, they cut off like two feet of the sides of the screens and. And then they just like warp it along the wall. They just stretch out that 2ft for like 9ft of screen. It looks so bad. It looked so bad. For the first time in my life I ever took a survey for Cineplex Odeon after watching the movie and Said Screen X should be abolished. This is a terrible idea. I can't believe I had to pay more money to watch an inferior product. It was. I hated every second of Screen X. So do yourselves a favor, everybody. Don't ever buy a ticket to Screen X if you can help it. Okay, rant over. [00:05:11] Speaker C: Honestly, that's kind of how I feel about 3D movies. And I know that's not what we're talking about right now. I've just avoided 3D movies for a very long time. If at all possible, with the exception maybe like Avatar. I think that was the one where I was like, I'll give this a shot. Because the first one was good in 3D. Other than that, I'm just like, absolutely not. I'm not paying extra for this. [00:05:26] Speaker A: Why would I do that over 3D? Yeah. [00:05:28] Speaker B: If a film needs a gimmick to carry it, it's not a good film. It's just like the beer industry. They started making the cans and bott because they couldn't change their product and improve it. You can make good movies. There's room for artistic development and creative ideas and stuff. You don't need gimmicks like Screen X or some chair that punches you in the back or squirts water in your face. Those are just stupid. I went to the a Marvel movie where the chairs did that stuff. I felt like I was mugged in the theater. It was horrible experience. So thankfully I went and saw this in a standard theater. In fact, I didn't even have reclining seats in my theater. And I. I enjoyed the experience. It was fine. [00:06:06] Speaker A: Nice. [00:06:07] Speaker C: The only time I've done the. The DX or whatever it's called was Top Gun Maverick. And that was actually kind of cool because they would just like recline a little bit as you're going faster and stuff like that. I was like, all right, I see what you're doing. Like, that's okay. It wasn't great, but it was like this was the right call for that. Like, if you're gonna do this in a movie. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Overly jarring to every. Oh man, it was so bad. [00:06:28] Speaker C: Anyways, we should probably talk about this movie and not just random theater going experiences. [00:06:32] Speaker B: Oh, do we have to? [00:06:33] Speaker A: Y. [00:06:36] Speaker C: All right, now, this movie stars Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, a whole bunch of other cast members who are significantly less well known and less important. Without spoiling anything, I will say I don't, I don't think this is a spoiler of any kind. I like Mahershal Ali. I like Scarlett Johansson. I Did not like them in this film. [00:06:59] Speaker B: Really? [00:06:59] Speaker C: Yeah, I, I didn't think that they did particularly good jobs. Personally, I think the action was fun in this movie. I think there's a reason to go see this movie, which is, of course, the dinosaurs. It was just unfortunate that this is the first time, like, I liked Chris Pratt more than either of you guys did. I love Sam Neal and Jeff Goldblum from the originals. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Right. [00:07:16] Speaker C: This is the first time where I was just like, oh, man, this cast is not keeping up with the dinosaurs on screen. Did either of you, you seem surprised by that, Will. [00:07:25] Speaker A: I'm not surprised, actually. I, I, I agree. [00:07:29] Speaker B: 100. [00:07:30] Speaker A: I don't think there was an interesting character in this movie, dinosaurs included. And, but of everyone, I think Mahershala Ali probably was the best performance. And most like, oh, I can almost relate to him or, like, feel something about him, but you don't, like, whatever. [00:07:54] Speaker B: So I, I agree that the characters didn't go anywhere. I was disappointed because they kept doing these moments where they build up the character's backstory. Especially in the case of Xavier, the, the boyfriend, that's David Icono. They had a moment where they build him up where he has, like, this character arc that's ready to jump off. And it went. [00:08:18] Speaker A: And then. Yeah, it goes right in the dirt. [00:08:20] Speaker B: Just right in the dirt. Exactly. And now I, I disagree about 20 on Ali and Johansson'. I thought that they were adequate for the job. I'm not gonna write Home about it, but I thought that they did pretty good. I liked Ali's character. Again, the character arc went nowhere. It developed these characters. That was one of my biggest problems with this film, is that there was a lack of character development. And there was one character in this movie who was absolutely cliche, totally flat, completely predictable, and annoyed. The crap out of me took me out of the film. And I didn't even like his job acting. That was Rupert Friend, Martin Krebs character. [00:09:07] Speaker C: The fact that you had that description and my brain is like, which one? [00:09:14] Speaker B: The villain was absolutely cliche. I, I hated that. I would have loved it had they made his character a good person who was just out to make money. Right? [00:09:25] Speaker A: Right. Yeah. [00:09:26] Speaker B: But in this day and age, if you're a person who's trying to make a lot of money, you get villainized in films. It feels like. And it's just a tired cliche that I'm so over. I just don't think we should be punishing people for a capitalist nature. And he could have been a very cool character. And different and enjoyable. Had they just made him a good guy, you know, spoken like a true American. That's right. Capitalism. [00:09:52] Speaker C: I wasn't sure how to get there, but I was thinking the same thing. [00:09:55] Speaker B: Had it right. GRE good. [00:10:01] Speaker A: You're not wrong. It was bad. I think that they went out of their way to make him a bad guy. [00:10:09] Speaker B: Right. [00:10:10] Speaker A: To make. [00:10:10] Speaker B: Yeah. They didn't need to. [00:10:11] Speaker A: To make his character just an actual bad person on top of him being like, oh, we want to do this to make money. Like, that's enough of a whatever. [00:10:22] Speaker C: You know, you can question motivation. He doesn't. [00:10:24] Speaker A: Yeah, you like that intent or not. Right. But yeah, they actually made him like a kind of a douche throughout, which kind of like, oh, yeah, you're not right. You're not wrong. I believe a lot of the problems with this movie, without spoiling, is the writing. That's why you don't care about the characters. That's why the actors are like, oh, I guess they did okay because they have nothing to work with. And that's why all the, like, sincere moments are lost to all the insincere moments that follow directly after them. Like, it just is a disaster writing of this movie, which is kind of crazy because it's the original Jurassic park screenwriter that wrote this, David Cope or [00:11:04] Speaker B: whatever his name is. [00:11:05] Speaker C: Yeah. But he didn't have a Michael Crichton there to rely on, which. Which is definitely exactly. Kind of a Game of Thrones situation there. [00:11:12] Speaker A: I think it shows 100%. Yeah. [00:11:14] Speaker B: Some of this. This writing and this character development that went nowhere bothered me because it lent to this weird pacing of the film. The action sequences were great. I was on the edge of my seat and I enjoyed them. But then they were in between with these slow sections that meant nothing to me, Held nothing, did nothing for the movie, went nowhere. And so it was this. Okay, let's. After halfway through the movie, I'm like, let's forget this. I know that this isn't going where, anywhere. Can we just get back to Dinosaur so I can enjoy the movie? The pacing of the movie was pretty terrible for me. What did you guys think about the pacing of it? Did you find slow spots like I did there was. [00:11:50] Speaker C: It started off very rough for me, and I will get into the exact point where I got more on board, but I won't do that just yet. We'll save that for now. But, like, the very, very beginning was really brutal for me. I did get on board, and once I was on board, I was fairly on board for the rest of the film. So I didn't really have a huge issue with pacing. There was just that initial, like, hump that I had to get over. And once I was over that hump, I was kind of like, okay, like I, I know what I bought a ticket to. I wasn't expecting Shakespeare. I got what I hoped for. [00:12:22] Speaker A: To be fair, I feel like this movie kind of story beats similarly to the first movie, Jurassic Park. You know, you have the character introduction, the lead up to the island, then the going to the island and then the follow through and whatever. Like the story beats are fairly similar through these, both these movies. But one, we've seen it before. Two, you know exactly what's going to happen. Three, you're bored out of your mind. Or at least I was. And that's what I, if I could give a one word review without spoilers for this movie, is, it's boring. [00:12:55] Speaker C: So that's exactly. I was just about to say, like, before we get into spoilers, just like a thumbs up, thumbs down. Did you enjoy this movie or not? That sounds like a big thumbs down from, from Will. What about you, Brian? Just spoiler free. [00:13:09] Speaker B: I found that the interactions with the dinosaurs, the action sequences were colorful and vibrant like the original Jurassic Park Park. It had that in the excitement. And those moments were good enough that I did enjoy the film. I just don't think you should pay a lot for it. [00:13:26] Speaker C: I, I'm actually with Brian on this one. It's a tentative thumbs up, but it is a thumbs up. I enjoyed more of this movie than I disliked. That said, going back and thinking about it for this review, it's like, what, like there's, there's so many negatives and my only real positive is I had fun. Like, I'm a sucker for a dinosaur movie, I guess. [00:13:48] Speaker A: Dinosaurs on screen. This is why they continue to print money. That's exactly why they continue to print money, is because no matter how bad the story is, no matter how bad the writing is, no matter how bad the characters are, the acting, it doesn't matter as long as there's fun chase sequences with dinosaurs. And they will ride this wave until the end of time. And I'm sick of it. [00:14:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I, I agree. And I, I. This one reminded me much of Jurassic Park 2, the second movie in the franchise. It was a terrible movie, but I had fun watching it. And that's kind of what this was. This was a terrible movie. I had fun watching it. Unfortunately, there were some slow spots. I really want to get into some specifics. I'm chomping at the bit. [00:14:33] Speaker C: We'll get there in one second. I will say this is only the second time we've reviewed a movie that's still in theaters. But we've talked about other movies that are fairly recent and like Marvel movies. It's hard for me to get a couple of friends to get together and go see the. The 28 years later. It was hard to get a group of friends to go and see this one. I had people coming out of the woodworks being like, hey, are you gonna do Jurassic World? I'd like to go see Jurassic World if you're gonna do Jurassic World. Like multiple groups of friends. And it was just like as much as we talked about it here on the show and like Will is completely over it and like all of our scores were just dwindling and going down and down and down, down. The population at large is here for dinosaurs. And it showed this movie like opening weekend made like 300 something million dollars. It's only been up for a week and it's almost got. It's. It's got to be getting close to getting its budget back already. And that speaks volume. So like Brian's like, oh, [00:15:25] Speaker B: I don't think so. [00:15:26] Speaker C: It's going to get there probably. Unless of course, Superman is going to derail it quite a bit. [00:15:31] Speaker A: Yeah. Or Fantastic Four is coming out pretty soon too. [00:15:34] Speaker C: Yeah. It's got another two weeks or something before Fantastic. Anyways, we good? We're ready to move on. Have the spoilers discussion. [00:15:40] Speaker A: I know is they have purposely in Jurassic World written in that people are over dinosaurs. Obviously not. Otherwise y' all wouldn't keep making these stupid movies. [00:15:52] Speaker C: Well, you're over dinosaurs, so they're not entirely wrong. I'm sure there's a lot of people in here. [00:15:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:57] Speaker C: Not abolition at large. [00:15:58] Speaker A: Not enough. They're still making billion dollar movies. [00:16:01] Speaker C: Well, because people like you have to go and hate watch them. [00:16:05] Speaker A: All right, let's get into some spoilers. Let's do this thing. [00:16:08] Speaker C: All right. I. So I mentioned there was a hump at the beginning that you had to get over. And that's literally everything up until the point where they are on the boat. I think the, the, the. The family is on the boat. I was the first part scene that I was like, oh, this is actually kind of fun. And then the actual like action sequence on the boat I liked quite a bit. But like the opening with the, the brontosaurus blocking traffic was an interesting idea. Done as boringly as possible. [00:16:37] Speaker A: Yeah. We also just like, note that this scientist guy who's never seen a dinosaur in his life, could have walked two blocks down the street to see this brontosaurus. Like, what the hell? [00:16:47] Speaker C: Yeah, they're just wandering around downtown la, apparently, and this guy's never managed to see one. [00:16:52] Speaker B: Oh, there's. There's so many plot holes in this life. [00:16:55] Speaker A: To dinosaurs and went to Jurassic World when it was open for, like, 10 years. Get out of here. Oh, my goodness. This movie is so badly written. I can't even. [00:17:07] Speaker C: I can't argue with any of the writing on this one. [00:17:09] Speaker B: Didn't make any sense. This is single ply toilet paper tissue. Thin plot. It was so horrible that really. But it doesn't matter, right? Like you said, you just need exciting sequences with dinosaurs and people are gonna go watch this movie. And that did deliver. Now, Dan, you said the opening thing was a hump for you. Are you talking about the scene in the lab where we were. [00:17:30] Speaker C: I blocked that scene from my brain entirely about that. I was just talking about, like, them getting their little team together. And like, Scarlett Johansson's like, I'm here for the cash. I have no reason to be here other than I like cash. And then she goes and talks to the scientists like, well, have you thought about it long enough? This is like, the jokes didn't land, the delivery didn't land. I was actually debating if I actually think Scarlett Johansson's a good actress in this. Like a good period. [00:17:56] Speaker A: Because calling it in, man, it was [00:17:58] Speaker C: the definition of calling it in. Like, it was awful. She got better as the movie went on, I'll give her that. [00:18:03] Speaker B: So excited to do this film. She's been begging her. Her agent to get her in on a Jurassic movie for ages. And she finally gets her shot. They had her jump through a ton of hoops to make this happen. All kinds of physical appearance things that she had to do to. To look more natural and stuff, which is great. I'm glad they didn't sexually exploit her. That was kind of cool. [00:18:23] Speaker C: That was actually a boss. I will give them that. [00:18:25] Speaker B: Yeah, so. So that was good. And then she gets in there and. You're right, her character. I think her character was just so unusual and unexpected and kind of bland. Just bad, bad. It didn't lend, like. I don't know. I don't want to blame her for it. I kind of think her character was just written really poorly. [00:18:42] Speaker A: I agree. [00:18:43] Speaker B: I agree. [00:18:43] Speaker A: I'm not blaming any of the actors in this movie. I'm blaming all the script writing. But I can't blame the actors for being like, Jurassic World movie. Yeah, I'll take that paycheck any day. [00:18:53] Speaker B: Right. So the. And the opening sequence with the monster dinosaur, which I'm so sick of monster dinosaurs. We had a lot more fun with regular D. Rex. Yeah, the D Rex. [00:19:04] Speaker C: The Rhynchosaurus. [00:19:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, the. The mutasaur. Like, they even had a mutated sor. Dinosaur and they called it the Mutasaurus. This is ridiculous. But a candy wrapper foils their plan. And I was just so astounded at how something so stupid could this. A candy rapper just blows the whole thing up. It was so ridiculous to me right from that moment. I was like, oh, wow, they just don't effing care about. [00:19:33] Speaker A: They don't give a. [00:19:35] Speaker C: Now, interestingly correct me if I'm wrong. [00:19:38] Speaker A: I. [00:19:39] Speaker C: Maybe you could argue Jurassic Park 3. I guess this is the first time where chaos theory truly takes over and actually lets the dinosaurs free. Because every other movie it's humans who let the dinosaurs free, whether they do it willingly or not. Because in Jurassic Park, Nedry puts the. Takes the machines down. In the second one, Vince Vaughn is opening up all those, like, dinosaur cages that take out the. The people. In Jurassic World, it's the fat cop and Chris Pratt who let the insidious Rex out. In Domin Dominion. No. Fallen Kingdom, it's. It's Chris Pratt who lets the insidious Raptor out or whatever the freaking stupid thing is called. Like, it's always [00:20:19] Speaker A: that depends. [00:20:21] Speaker C: Like an accident that actually let the dinosaurs out. [00:20:23] Speaker A: Do you define the clone girl as a person? [00:20:26] Speaker C: Yes. [00:20:28] Speaker A: Okay, now that's. That's interesting. [00:20:31] Speaker C: People are people. [00:20:32] Speaker B: I. I've been watching foundation lately, so that's a tough question for me. Yeah. But of course it was a human who dropped the candy wrapper, being adult. And so maybe it still is the humans that let it out. I don't know. [00:20:46] Speaker C: But it was an accident is my point. Every other time, it's. It's malicious. And this is the first time where it was like, whoopsie. Like, I thought, all right, it was done really poorly, but at least it was not malicious. [00:20:57] Speaker B: Like, yeah, honestly, I would have rather just the dinosaur was stronger than the anticipated and it just got pissed off and smashed its way out or something and they didn't think it could do it and it did. That would have been more interesting than Snickers Bar foiling the multi billion dollar facility. [00:21:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:14] Speaker C: One rapper. [00:21:15] Speaker A: Anything. Anything would have been better than what was unfolded in the first five minutes of this film. [00:21:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:22] Speaker B: And we don't even see the monster dinosaur again until the very end of the film. [00:21:28] Speaker A: Yeah, like the last 10 minutes. [00:21:30] Speaker C: Good. [00:21:30] Speaker B: Yeah. What's the point? [00:21:31] Speaker A: And by the way. Well, I mean, once you see it, though, are you. [00:21:35] Speaker B: Yeah, here's the thing. At one point, it's munching on a helicopter. Like, it's the Snickers bar that let it free. And then later, it's, like, munching on a guy. And the guys, like, the size discrepancy from the two scenes, I was like, are there two of them? Is there a baby one in a full group? [00:21:53] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:21:53] Speaker B: Because he was just munching on a helicopter, and now he looks a lot smaller. What is going on? I didn't get that. [00:21:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. Well, did you get how freaking Ali's character survived? I didn't get that. [00:22:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I. It would have been better had he died. I would have appreciated it more. [00:22:10] Speaker A: He was supposed to die. [00:22:11] Speaker C: He was supposed to die. [00:22:13] Speaker A: And the. [00:22:14] Speaker C: The studio heads or whatever was like, actually, we should keep him around. And so they had to reshoot it and bring him back, and it made no sense. [00:22:21] Speaker B: Yeah. They didn't say, I'm gonna go see my son or something like that, because they built up that storyline the whole time. [00:22:27] Speaker A: Oh, no, his son is gone. [00:22:30] Speaker C: Died. [00:22:34] Speaker B: I was like. And then sacrifice himself is what I was expecting. It didn't happen. And I was like, okay, you built up his dead son this whole time, and then he doesn't go anywhere with that. Like every other story in this arc. It was terrible. [00:22:46] Speaker A: That doesn't go anywhere. [00:22:47] Speaker C: Yeah. Literally, not a single plot that goes anywhere in this movie. [00:22:51] Speaker A: He's supposed to die, obviously. And then the studios, like, read, write the script and was like, can you film it both ways? Like, he dies and he doesn't. So during filming, they did film it both ways, and they gave the original edit to. To the studio. They tested it with some, you know, people, and they liked. They liked the I live option better. And the studio's like, yeah, we like that, too, because we can cast him again for this next big old batch [00:23:18] Speaker B: of franchises we're gonna pump out of. This studio would be smart and be like, hey, we're gonna cast somebody new for a lot cheaper and save some money and better ratings for our movie, because this makes no sense. [00:23:30] Speaker A: Blade, though. Blade's gonna bring bucks. He's gonna put butts in seats anyway. [00:23:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:35] Speaker C: I mean, that's a whole different show. But do you think Blade's gonna happen? [00:23:38] Speaker A: Who cares? [00:23:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:43] Speaker C: All right. Yeah, there. Oh, I don't even know where to begin. There's so many different. [00:23:47] Speaker B: Okay, so slot is paper thin. There's tons of bad writing. But Dan and I both gave this a tentative thumbs up because there was some good stuff in the film. Clean. What kind of stuff do you think was good in this movie? What did you enjoy about it, if anything? [00:24:05] Speaker A: Okay. I didn't mind. Okay. I hated the whole family subplot. I thought that was trash. Agreed. The characters were trash. The. They may have some more interesting scenes, but them as characters were trash. [00:24:19] Speaker C: Okay, I'll agree with that, But I say that about everybody. [00:24:21] Speaker A: Yeah, but they're seen on the boat when it first gets flipped from the. Whatever the water dinosaur is. Was kind of fun. It was kind of like, oh, this is cool. You know, and how they kind of work together and got through it. That was cool. And then the T. Rex scene was kind of okay, except for it was so stupid that this T. Rex couldn't pop a stupid rubber dinghy. [00:24:44] Speaker B: But at least one hell of a magic trick. [00:24:46] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was. That was dumb, too. But, like, the overall action of the scene was okay. Aside from that, I was pretty much bored throughout the whole movie. It's just too much in between the action sequences. And the mutated dinosaurs didn't do anything for me. And the weird Mayan ruins out of nowhere was just confusing. Like, why are they on a Indiana Jones set for no reason? Didn't make any sense. Like, there was just so much bad writing. It just took me out of the movie that even, like, the fun effects. I was just like. I was too bored by that point in the movie to. To enjoy it. I was just more like, why are we here? [00:25:27] Speaker C: I think I pointed at the Mayan ruin thing. Like, even in the trailer reaction, I'm like, wait, what? Like, why? [00:25:34] Speaker A: They don't explain it. [00:25:35] Speaker B: They don't even explain it. They don't explain anything that they. They did. That was. That was weird in this movie. [00:25:39] Speaker A: Had. [00:25:40] Speaker B: I don't know, it felt like it was missing 30 minutes of. Of. Of context. Like, when the boyfriend builds his character up and he's like, you know, she must see something. The father's like, she sees something good in you. And he's like, I don't know what that is. [00:25:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm just lazy. [00:25:54] Speaker B: I was waiting to find out his backstory or learn something about him or have him do something or be connected to this in some way or whatever. A plot twist that could evolve or nothing. [00:26:03] Speaker C: The only thing we see and It's, It's. It's. I'm not praising anything by this, but the only thing we see is as soon as she falls off the boat, he jumps right after. No hesitation. [00:26:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:14] Speaker C: Which is like, okay, so there's something here. And then it goes nowhere. [00:26:18] Speaker B: And it starts me to be interested in this character and I'm taking note of him, like, okay, I really hated this douchebag in the beginning, but he dove in for her and now I want to find out what's going on because maybe there's more to him. And they keep. They keep, like, alluding to them being more to him, and then there's not. That's. It was terrible. [00:26:36] Speaker C: I. Okay, so I'll go a different route on than you guys on this one. I'm not going to say that those were strong characters that the. The family. [00:26:43] Speaker A: Right. [00:26:44] Speaker C: Or they acted fine. I guess I did like the idea of putting people on the island who had no reason to be there, didn't know anything about dinosaurs, were completely out of their depth. That's not really something we've seen a whole lot of in this franchise. Usually it's dinosaur experts who are like, oh, I know everything about the Tyrannosaurus, or they know they're going complete fish out of water. And honestly, I thought the boat scene was really cool. I now. I hated the sun, which you're obviously supposed to, and I hated that they never gave him a redemption arc. Like, the closest they give him is the fact that he jumps in the water and then, like, the dad tries to have our heart to heart, and he's like, nah, I legitimately am a piece of. And you're like, oh, cool. Yeah. So, like, I wish they had gone somewhere differently. And I didn't. I didn't care for the attempt at the baby grogu with whatever that little dinosaur was that she just has to take with her. Like, we know because the movie told us the dinosaurs die on the mainland. So you're just getting this thing. [00:27:40] Speaker A: He's killing that little dino. [00:27:41] Speaker C: Right. [00:27:41] Speaker A: That thing is straight up merchandise. That's all that [00:27:48] Speaker B: Yoda into this movie. Oh, let's just make a tiny stegosaurus straight out of the land before time. [00:27:54] Speaker C: Yeah. No, that was just. So if they left it on the island and it was just like a cute friend, they kept around for a little bit, maybe even the dinosaur doesn't go anywhere. Like, at no point does it get her out of trouble or put her in deeper trouble. It is just there to look cute. [00:28:07] Speaker A: Stuffed animal hundreds of miles away. It just finds. It loses them, finds them. No problem. Doesn't matter. It's just zero consequences. Zero reason for this movie to exist. [00:28:21] Speaker C: Now, Brian, you and I both did give it a thumbs up. You asked Will what he liked about it. What did you like about it? What was a scene that you actually had fun with? I'm not. I keep wanting to make you bigger [00:28:28] Speaker B: and shrink you up, but I enjoyed, okay, this movie. All the different sequences where they're running from dinosaurs, monsters. Let's tell. Like, it is running from monsters, because there were very few actual dinosaurs in this. [00:28:42] Speaker C: Sorry, I don't mean to stop you. Wasn't the only, like, mutated dinosaur, the D. Rex? Like, theoretically. Aren't all the other dinosaurs real dinosaurs [00:28:53] Speaker B: when they're. When they're in the. The Mutadons or something they're called. [00:28:56] Speaker C: Don't they have. Oh, no. There were pterodactyls in the. In the museum. Okay. [00:29:01] Speaker B: Yeah, there were a bunch of weird. Kind of mutated. Like, they even said they're like, what is that? It's clearly not a real dinosaur. [00:29:07] Speaker A: You know, even the titanosaurus thing was different because they had frills on its back. Like, it was even weird everything. [00:29:15] Speaker B: And I'm no dinosaur expert or anything. I loved him when I was a kid, but I never bothered to learn about him because I'm an American. But I thought that the sequences where they were running from dinosaurs was exciting and it was fun, and I enjoyed all of those. Every single one was fun. Except for the. The. The T. Rex that disappears behind the boat when that boat inflates instantly and then slowly tips over and the dinosaur is gone. And I'm like, why? Why did you do that? That wasn't. That wasn't like. I get it. They wanted the audience to not know where the dinosaur is gonna come from. And I'm just like, that was the laziest writing I've ever seen. [00:29:57] Speaker A: But it's even worse than that because it's not like it disappeared to, like, get a jump on them. It's just taking a drink out of the crick. Like, it's so stupid. [00:30:05] Speaker B: Yeah. It was completely unnecessary. It was another pointless act in this plot that just didn't make sense. And then the dinosaur goes on to not be able to pop the raft, which was just stupid. But I did enjoy them running from him. When they're swimming underwater and it's biting at them and stuff. I was like, oh, you know, it was. That was kind of fun. So, yeah, we're good. [00:30:26] Speaker C: Help me out with that dinosaur scene for one quick second. Because, like, yes, I remember them bringing the boat out. The boat lifts up, the T. Rex, disappears. And the next time you see it, it's just drinking water. Like, it's just like it went the other way to drink some water. And then it comes back. [00:30:38] Speaker A: It has zero knowledge of them even being there. But then they start. They start screaming and then it's like, okay, here we go. [00:30:47] Speaker C: I kind of like that. Like, I actually loved okay, the. The boat was stupid. The fact that she's like, I'm just gonna bring this out directly in front of a T. Rex. What could go wrong? Really, really dumb. [00:30:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:56] Speaker C: But like, when we see the. The half eaten carcass and the T. Rex is laying around, it reminded me of my dog. Like, it. That's exactly what I thought. I was like, oh, they actually managed to, I want to say humanized, animalize. The dinosaurs. They're actually like, living in the real world. And I was like, that's actually super cool. And when you see it, like, it wakes up and it goes and gets a glass of water. Glass of water. Go gets a drink of water. That's what my dog does when it wakes up. Like, he goes and drinks. Looks like that kind of checked out for me. Like, I kind of liked that scene. And the actual action of that scene, like the underwater part. I don't know how well T. Rexes can swim, but whatever. [00:31:33] Speaker B: I thought it was kind of so slow. Oh, my goodness. We've seen it chasing down a Jeep Wrangler and it couldn't walk through the water to catch these people who were paddling nowhere on this upside down. [00:31:46] Speaker C: It was just paddling upstream to get away from a T. Rex. Like they were paddling into rapids. And I was like, you're going the wrong way, honey. You could go the other way and go like three times as fast, at least. [00:31:57] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. That was. That was kind of dumb. But, you know, the snapping jaws at the last moment, that was cool. It was the same thing when they were spelunking into the cave. Every part of that made no sense. None of it was. I mean, like, they're all freaking out about losing the vial. The guy almost dies trying to get that vial falling off the cliff. And I was like, why don't you guys just wait for it to leave and get another one? [00:32:21] Speaker A: Like, yeah, you have spares. You've shown us that. [00:32:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, you've got cases of these things, you know, so. So again, plot holes everywhere. None of it makes any sense. But Them trying to like, like the one guy's like climbing up and then the bird pops up with a rope hanging out of its mouth and style. Like, this is cool. Like this is the old Jurassic park one that I kind of enjoyed these things. Now, Jurassic Park 1 at least had a plot that made sense. It encaptivated all of the world as to like, can we really bring dinosaurs back? And this one did nothing. Made no attempt at inspiring anyone about anything. It was just the sequences where you're running from dinos and those were fun and entertaining. I also liked how we stepped away from the sepia tones of the previous Jurassic worlds. Those were so bland and, and flat. And I didn't even notice it until this one came out. And it's vibrant and full of color and it reminded me of the original Jurassic park. [00:33:16] Speaker A: And I liked that. [00:33:18] Speaker B: That's fair. [00:33:19] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean you can see on the poster the, the flares with the D Rex. And like I, I hated the D Rex, to be perfectly honest. I thought it looked like a rancor and I didn't love it at all. But it was pretty cool with the fog and it like eating the helicopter out of the sky. And like there were scenes with it where it's like, okay, that's well shot. Like, I'll give them props at least for the cinematography. I just like, you could have done that with a T. Rex. I would have been so happier. But not a tears, but like a real dinosaur. I would have been much happier. But like they had to go with this weird abomination with six arms and an alien forehead. And I was like, I don't know what we're doing here. [00:33:53] Speaker A: Yeah, it was, it was based off of xenophore. Xenophore head and the rancor from Star Wars. [00:33:58] Speaker C: Yeah, I thought rancor the whole time. [00:34:02] Speaker B: Yeah, there was good blocking, good lighting in this. I thought it was just really well shot. [00:34:07] Speaker A: I disagree with that. [00:34:09] Speaker B: Even really. [00:34:10] Speaker A: I mean, compared to 28 years later, which we just saw. [00:34:14] Speaker B: But 28 years later is like a set art. It's like they use iPhones. Come on. Yeah. 28 years later is. They're. Everything they're doing is intentional. It's. It, it felt like it was this artistic flare. Jurassic World is just trying to get back to its money making roots. That's the only thing they're trying for. And in, in that you shouldn't praise it for that. They showcased something that I did enjoy and they did a good job of what I wanted to see, which was bring me back to the roots of Jurassic park and those sequences that are iconic and they were scary and fun, and they make me want to relive my childhood again. And this one, it. It echoed that in those scenes, the rest of it was trash and should be flushed right down the drain. That those people tried to climb out with those birds following him. But. But the. The. I thought the cinematography was exactly what Jurassic park was all about. And I'm glad they went back to it and got that look and that feel for this film. [00:35:17] Speaker A: Agree to disagree. I felt it was phoned in, like, the rest of the movie. [00:35:23] Speaker B: Like. [00:35:24] Speaker C: Like, I kind of agree with Will here and Ryan, which is a. Weird [00:35:27] Speaker A: places or whatever that are, like, hiding. There's like 50 of them hiding into four feet of grass. [00:35:34] Speaker B: Yeah, that was, again, stupid. None of it makes sense, but it was. It was beautiful in the Q. Oh, we'll get to the music later. [00:35:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:43] Speaker A: Oh, man, it's the worst. [00:35:46] Speaker C: Even. Even seeing the Titanic Titanosaurus, whatever, the brontosaurus on drugs. [00:35:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:52] Speaker C: You see, like, two of them, and I'm like, the tails are a little weird, but, like, okay, it's. It's fun. It is what it is. But then all of a sudden, there's like, a herd of them. I'm like, how big is this island that can have that many dinosaurs of that size? And, like, all the tall grass is still there. Like, they haven't eaten anything, and yet there's like, 50 of these dinosaurs and, like, 18,000 tons. You're just like, cool. Okay. [00:36:16] Speaker A: And that is like, what, like two hours or hour and a half into the movie, and that's when we hear the. And they're awestruck. Like, look at dinosaurs dead. [00:36:28] Speaker C: Oh, [00:36:31] Speaker B: yeah, they did just forget about that woman that was eaten by a complete. [00:36:35] Speaker A: Forgot about everybody. [00:36:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:37] Speaker C: I actually really like that. For whatever reason, I like half of a second scene because we seen the. The spinosauruses in the water, the hunting thing, which I liked. That boat scene I did. I'm sorry. Kind of. It's not as good as Jaws by any stretch, but it kind of reminded me of that a little bit. But then they're like, oh, we're on land. We're safe. And, like, it's not even chasing her. It literally just like, rolled over. Like, it woke up and was like, oh, a snack. And just grabbed her. I was like, I like it. I like that. They, like. [00:37:02] Speaker B: Yeah, they. [00:37:03] Speaker C: They made these animals feel more alive than just amusement park tricks like they've been in. These are just animals. Oh, there's food Here, okay with that [00:37:15] Speaker A: scene as well, though, is like that. She gets snagged, she gets snacked. That's fine. But then the whole beach is just covered in blood. They, like, pick up her scarf and it's just dripping. There's blood everywhere. Like, what happened? What is going on? [00:37:31] Speaker B: This is scary now. Like, the minute she dies, like, literally within 60 seconds of her being dead, they play up this music that tells you you're supposed to feel sad about this. And it was like, it was so forced and jarring. And then from that point on, the music kept doing it again and again and again. It just kept telling me how I'm supposed to feel. [00:37:54] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:37:54] Speaker B: It was so in your face and over the top. I did not like the music or scoring. [00:37:58] Speaker A: The worst part was when was having to sit down with the scientist. They're like, you can't sleep, eh? And they're like chatting and for no reason whatsoever. [00:38:10] Speaker B: Right? [00:38:12] Speaker A: It took me again. They did everything they could to take me out of this movie and be like, what the f am I watching right now? Why is this happening? And that to me, I. I can't. I can't be like, oh, this is good action. [00:38:27] Speaker B: I feel like they were trying to hone in too hard on too many things. Not caring about substance, but just trying to recreate the magic of the original Jurassic Park. I mean, they call it rebirth, as if they're trying to revitalize the franchise or something. And it really felt like that throughout this. There were times like, I enjoyed the look of the film. I thought they got that right. I enjoyed the excitement of the action sequences. Those were interesting, if not dumb. But one thing that bothered me about this movie is that they treated me like I was stupid and over explained everything and had dumbed down dialogue like I'm some sort of in it. And I think maybe that's who they wanted to go see. This film was people who were really dumb and wanted to waste their money chasing dinosaurs. And I'm sorry if you really, really enjoyed this movie. This movie was for dumb people. That's what it was designed for. [00:39:28] Speaker C: And that's our audience. Why don't you thumbs up? [00:39:32] Speaker B: Because I'm not the smartest guy on the planet. And so I was able to enjoy just a little bit of this film. [00:39:38] Speaker A: You know what? Run. I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you. [00:39:42] Speaker C: I mean, I would have said you're the smartest part on this channel, smartest person on this panel before this episode. [00:39:48] Speaker B: But, yeah, sorry. I think this movie was dumbed down. For people unnecessarily, the plot was stupid and so was all of the writing. And so it just made for a dumb experience. And I don't like going into a movie and being like, am I really too smart for this? Because I don't think that highly of myself. But this movie feels like it was made for somebody way slower than me. [00:40:09] Speaker A: Now, I both think you are. I think you're both intelligent beings, so. And that's why I do this, because it's fun chatting with you. Now, I do have a question, though, about the Mosasaurus, the water dinosaur. In the previous films, they set up this dinosaur as a pretty substantial threat. You know, taking down the Ultrasaurus or whatever in one of them and just abdominal Rexius just. Just jumping on, just taking and taking them down. Fishing boats in the other one. Like, that thing was something to behold and beware of. Was it just a whale in this movie like, it did? [00:40:51] Speaker B: It kind of. Kind of did seem like a whale. [00:40:53] Speaker A: It jumped out of the dinosaurs, did all the work. [00:40:56] Speaker B: Right. [00:40:56] Speaker A: The spinosaurus, it jumped out of the water multiple times so that Scarjo could miss once or twice. [00:41:02] Speaker B: Yeah. And. And the thing is supposed to be the biggest animal on the planet. How's she missing it at any 10 meters? Do you know how far 10 meters is? [00:41:12] Speaker A: So much mass to hit that first [00:41:14] Speaker B: down in a football game in America. Okay. She couldn't make that shot. It was, again, stupid. [00:41:21] Speaker A: It was stupid. Now, I didn't. [00:41:23] Speaker C: I mean, it's a moving target on a boat. Like, it's not like it was perfect conditions, but. Yeah, I get what I'm saying. [00:41:29] Speaker A: But so, like, Dan, you said you like that scene, which is fine. It was a fun, exciting sequence. I just. [00:41:34] Speaker C: Other scenes in the movie. Movie. [00:41:35] Speaker A: Sure, sure. Again, to me, I was just like, so disappointed being like, oh, this thing has been built up over the movies as. As like such a force to be reckoned with. And then it was just like, barely even an issue. [00:41:52] Speaker B: That dolphin, like, it was threatening most of the time. It was more scary that. That Johansson fell off of the boat. Like, that was kind of the exciting peak of the moment when she's knocked off from just the, you know, tossing a turn of wings and stuff. Again, I enjoyed the sequence. It was fun, but it just seemed, I don't know, not thought out very well. [00:42:17] Speaker C: Yeah, I can't. I can't. See, here's the problem that I'm having this movie. I can't really defend it. [00:42:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:24] Speaker C: I just left having had fun. Yeah. That's the Best review I can give it. And like, I'm not saying that's like redemption for the movie, but like, if you want to nitpick it and look at potholes, I'm right there with you. There's so many. It's awful, but I still kind of have fun with it at the end of the day. [00:42:41] Speaker B: Jumping, Jumping into a technical aspect. There was one thing that really bothered me and kept taking me out again and again and again. Because a third of this movie at least is done in the water. Maybe even half this movie is done in the water or in water sources and puddles. Every single time a dinosaur was moving through the water, there was the splash or ripples from the dinosaur and then they disappeared into perfectly glass smooth water because they didn't put in the proper water physics for the CGI effects. And so every time the dinosaur was interacting with the water, it didn't look real to me. I was like, how come that dinosaur just stepped into that puddle and the ripples went three feet out and disappeared? Like, why didn't it make a splash that went all the way to the edge? Why are there not waves in this water from these dinosaurs? Right. Every single time I was like, who looked at this CGI and went, yeah, that looks real. Like, it didn't. The dinosaurs looked real except that they were fake. So how hard is it to make a, a monster with CGI and be like, oh, that looks just like the real thing. So that was kind of. I don't know how to judge that, [00:43:55] Speaker A: like, but it's like the best comment so far. [00:43:59] Speaker B: They, they moved and they looked alive. And the. It was scary when something was CR after you or coming up on you or chasing you or whatever. So it was good, but it wasn't perfect. There was some serious flaws in the way things looked and how they interacted with other stuff. There was, yeah, there, there were some sequences too when people are like ducking and diving from dinosaurs and it wasn't really in sync with the actual dinosaurs swatting at them and stuff. And I was like, really? Who thought that looked right? [00:44:34] Speaker A: So, yeah, I believe, I believe this is one of the first Jurassic movies that had like zero practical on dinosaurs. Yeah, pretty sure this was all cgi. I wanted to ask you guys, could you tell it. Was it a huge issue or did it off? [00:44:55] Speaker B: Especially with Yoda the dinosaur baby. Yoda was the worst one that looked so terrible. Every single time. Every single time. I was like, why it's so small? Why couldn't you make it animatronic Right? [00:45:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:09] Speaker B: Yeah, that. That baby dinosaur made. That little girl's acting looks fantastic. Because I was not paying any attention to the child actor this movie. [00:45:16] Speaker A: Nice. Good work. Child actor. [00:45:19] Speaker C: Almost a compliment. We'll take it. What about you? Yeah, the only CG I really bumped into. I didn't really notice the water ripple thing was the, I don't know, the brontosaurus things that the pterosaurus, whatever the hell they're called. And maybe it's because it was broad daylight. I don't know. Them standing in the grass, like, all that, like you mentioned earlier, was very vibrant, looked great. The dinosaurs themselves, that was the one time where I'm like, wow, there is nothing real about this at all. Yeah, the dinosaurs, like, they had their necks seeming impossibly long. Their tails were like snakes. Like they were like their own separate being dancing. They looked weird. No, I think no matter what you do, those dinosaurs, those proportions would have looked weird. But especially that CGI just also took you out. Like, we get raptors for like eight seconds and they looked fine. The pterodactyls or whatever looked fine. The Mosasaurus looked fine. The T. Rex, I thought, looked good. I mean, I didn't like the look of the D. Rex, but he looked okay. [00:46:18] Speaker A: Yeah. You didn't like. [00:46:19] Speaker C: Yeah, those Pterosauruses that were just like, oh, oh. Should have spent a couple extra bucks on that, I think. Right? Would I love. For practical effects? Absolutely. But for the movie I went to go see. It's fine. [00:46:34] Speaker A: Fair enough. Fair enough. It's fine. [00:46:37] Speaker C: I will go back one quick second because we just touch on it a little bit. What'd you. What do you think about the subverting expectation with that raptor scene? Because as stupid as it was, I thought it was kind of fun. The only time we get Raptors, and I was very okay with that. They've been played to death in this franchise. [00:46:54] Speaker A: Yes and no. I think it's fine. Like, it's a fun. Like, oh, that. There they are. There they go. That's it. But then they bring back winged rappers anyway. [00:47:02] Speaker B: So it's like. [00:47:03] Speaker A: It's not like that was it, you know? [00:47:05] Speaker C: Well, I just meant, like, you build up this character, be an. And he's like, I'm gonna go take a walk and pee. And he does that thing that you do in movies where you don't go ten feet in pee. You go like three and a half miles to have a. A pee. Like, he has a different hemisphere from them at this point. I mean, you know, I Like to [00:47:20] Speaker A: be at the furthest stall possible, if. If possible. So. [00:47:23] Speaker C: Yes. But not on an island of dinosaurs. I don't like. I'll pee right on top of you at that point. I'm like, it. I'm not going anywhere. And so you see the raptors coming up behind her. You're like, oh, they're okay. So this is why they've been building up to be such an a. A hole is they're gonna get rid of them, and then the raptors are the ones that end up getting eaten. I was like, okay. I actually legit didn't see that coming. Well done. [00:47:44] Speaker B: Like, yeah, that one did surprise me as well. And I was glad that they kept the raptor short because we've dealt with them so much. Everything that we dealt with in this movie, aside from the T. Rex scene, was somewhat a new experience. As far as what kind of dinosaur we're dealing with. A lot of them being just monsters. Was that great? No, I want dinosaurs. I don't need monsters to be scary. You know, you don't need to. You know, you don't need to build a bigger predator. The predator was scary enough. Same thing with dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are cool enough. You don't need to make fake dinosaurs to get good scares. And so I. I didn't need the monsters or anything, but at least I was experiencing something slightly new. Like when the diplosaurus, the one with the big crest that spits, it jumped out in a scene and I was like this dinosaur again. And it immediately got chased off and [00:48:39] Speaker A: I was like, scared off. [00:48:40] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:48:41] Speaker B: We're not gonna do the same things over again. We're gonna do dumber things that make less sense. But at least it's not the same thing. [00:48:49] Speaker A: Okay, now here's my ultimate question, because I really didn't take a lot of notes for this. [00:48:54] Speaker C: I'm just kind of like, me neither. [00:48:55] Speaker A: As we go, we've established these things [00:49:00] Speaker C: depending on the movie. I had some pretty good notes for 28 years later. [00:49:04] Speaker A: Yeah, some bullet points for sure. We established in Jurassic World. And we were all excited to get dinosaurs living amongst people and causing chaos and all that. What do you think of this movie just eliminating all of that immediately? [00:49:21] Speaker B: Oh, by making oxygen more prevalent around the equator, which I don't know if that's science or total Hollywood bs. I'm pretty sure the oxygen's mostly the same everywhere. I don't know. [00:49:34] Speaker C: Yeah, there's a lot of. [00:49:37] Speaker A: They just erase the whole potential of dinosaurs among people. Right. [00:49:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:43] Speaker C: So that was my issue. With this movie, they call it Rebirth because they clearly want to take the franchise in a different direction. And I honestly don't know what they're going to do with the next movie because you've told us for multiple movies now that people are bored of dinosaurs. There's not gonna be another park. Why would there be? Nobody cares. There's a dinosaur walking around la and no, it's just an annoyance. Nobody's awestruck. There's not even little kids awestruck at. Everybody's just like this dinosaur again. So there's not gonna be another park. It wouldn't make any sense. But you've also shown that they can't live amongst humans, which is exactly what I wanted out of the last movie. And they refused to give it to me, at least not for longer than that opening cutscene, which is actually pretty cool. So if you're not gonna have a park and you're not gonna have dinosaurs living amongst us and you're just gonna go back to them being randomly on an island, like, how many different ways they gonna come up with just BS reasons to get us to go to this island? Just, we'd be like, oh, we need, like, smaller done apparently for heart attacks. You don't want the big dinosaurs. You want the little dinosaurs. We got it wrong. Like, I just think it's a really shitty corner they've painted themselves into. Like, what? Like, there's clearly going to be another movie. This movie made too much money money already for there to not be a Jurassic Park 8. But what on earth do you do if you've already, like, shot yourself in the foot for those two things? And the only thing I can come up with is we're gonna start getting into weird. Like, if I say Kurt Connors, you know who that is from Spider man, [00:51:10] Speaker A: of course, the Lizard. [00:51:11] Speaker C: Right. That's the direction I think they have to go, where you're gonna have these dinosaur DNA that they've got from these three big dinosaurs to cure heart disease. And, oh, now we're gonna have humanoid dinosaurs, which is something they've been wanting to do since the Lost World. [00:51:26] Speaker A: Right? [00:51:27] Speaker C: And I hate every part of the sentence. I just. [00:51:29] Speaker A: Straight up monster movies. Now it's straight up monster. [00:51:31] Speaker B: I got a redemption arc for the franchise that'll never happen. You could make it a war drama political documentary where they are now breeding and raising certain dinosaurs to work side by side with military forces to go in and stop some sort of insurgents or something like that. And you could make a big political kind of thing. About it. And then you have this bond between one guy and his pet raptor or whatever, and it's going to be Jurassic park meets the Hurt Locker. And you could maybe get something new out of it. [00:52:07] Speaker A: Pretty sure we already saw that in Jurassic Park. [00:52:09] Speaker C: That's just Jurassic World. You're just describing Jurassic World. [00:52:12] Speaker B: Okay, well, that was my one shot. Sucks. We won. [00:52:17] Speaker C: You liked Jurassic World. [00:52:19] Speaker B: It was okay. It's okay. [00:52:21] Speaker C: That's not what you said in the review. But anyways, I know wasn't. [00:52:25] Speaker B: You know what? I like Jurassic World Rebirth, I think. And I don't remember my score exactly. Never mind. No. Jurassic World scoring way higher than Jurassic Park 4. [00:52:37] Speaker A: Way too high, some would say. [00:52:39] Speaker B: All right. Yeah, never mind. I take it back. Yeah, I'm looking at my old scores here. Jurassic World, the original was way better than Jurassic World Rebirth. Okay. [00:52:46] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Oh, 100%. The. The other problem with what you just mentioned is also we've established that dinosaurs can't live offside of this island, apparently. So like dinosaurs. [00:52:58] Speaker A: Maybe the mutants can. [00:53:00] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Create one. And that's what I'm saying. You could then take a dinosaur and make it so that it is still the same dinosaur we know and love. But it's allowed to be wherever you want to implement the story. [00:53:13] Speaker C: And then my little dino, my little dino. [00:53:16] Speaker B: People and dinosaurs together, like working together or something, Where you make the people like you. You have the scary dinosaur be the dinosaur you're rooting for in the end and has to be put down because it like saves its human friend or. I don't know. I'm just spitballing here. [00:53:38] Speaker A: I know. [00:53:38] Speaker C: Just bringing a little old Yeller at the end there. Just. No, it's my dinosaur. I'll do it. [00:53:44] Speaker B: I want to feel something for the characters in the Jurassic franchise. I felt nothing for any character, whether it be a CGI dino or human. I felt nothing for any of the characters in this movie and most of the previous ones as well. And I think we need to get back to telling good stories about someone or something rather than just some sort of cheap ass plot that gets us to the next chase scene. Chase scenes were exciting, but the rest of this movie was dog. [00:54:15] Speaker A: How ridiculous run ideas were. There were still better than the ideas in this. [00:54:22] Speaker B: Like, pretty bad too. [00:54:24] Speaker C: I just desperately wish this was called something different. Like, I feel like we had a pretty contained Jurassic park trilogy and a pretty on point Jurassic World trilogy. And then this one is like completely left field. Brand new characters, totally different idea. Like just Jurassic Something else. And make this a different thing. Or even honestly just lose Jurassic World and just start fresh. Like, just start fresh with like, look, we can clone dinosaurs. And this happened because this has nothing to do with drastic. [00:54:51] Speaker B: I would honestly like that. I would like a movie that is set in the Jurassic World world, but is completely different, doesn't even use the same name. And. And much like Prey, how a lot of people didn't even realize it was a Predator movie until they went to the theater and watched it. Much like that, we get halfway into the film and suddenly realize, oh, this is set in the Jurassic World world. [00:55:18] Speaker C: Jurassic Universe. [00:55:19] Speaker B: Yeah, the Jurassic Universe. I would like to see something completely spun off. [00:55:23] Speaker C: Just call this Rebirth. Just lose Jurassic World entirely. Just call it Rebirth. You can even use the logo. I'll let you use the logo, but just like, complete restart. And like, if we're gonna just get rid of everything we've done to this point anyways, ditch the world. Ditch the title. Just. Just move it into its own thing. I. I'm not saying it would save the movie at all, but at least you would have been like, okay, cool, that storyline is done. We're moving into this nonsense now. [00:55:47] Speaker A: I mean, I think it's pretty clear it's done, but whatever. [00:55:50] Speaker C: I mean, they could million dollars later. [00:55:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. [00:55:54] Speaker B: For sure. [00:55:54] Speaker A: I mean, I can't wait for the third iteration of Rebirth when Chris Pratt is back, when Sam o' Neill is back and everybody's just all on top of each other, just waging war against. [00:56:06] Speaker C: It's like Avengers. [00:56:08] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, sorry. I looked it up. This movie's closing in on 400 million after two weeks. The 1 billion was the Minecraft movie. I misread that. [00:56:17] Speaker A: That's. [00:56:17] Speaker B: And by the way, the Minecraft movie is a way better experience than this was. [00:56:22] Speaker C: I will have to take your word on it. [00:56:24] Speaker A: You know what? I have nothing, no knowledge about Minecraft. I've never played it, but it was enjoyable and just as stupid. But the characters had arcs and story had a purpose. So even if it doesn't, even though how random that movie was, at least it made more sense as to why things are happening than this movie. [00:56:53] Speaker B: And in. And in the end of this movie and huge spoiler here in the end of this movie, it's all for naught because they end up just give like everybody's reason for going here was spoiled. [00:57:05] Speaker C: Not the same scientists. He gets pretty much what exactly what he wanted. He got to see dinosaurs and he gets to save the world. [00:57:12] Speaker A: I mean, save the world is a little bit okay. [00:57:15] Speaker C: But I mean, like, they do technically get the three samples that'll help them cure heart disease or whatever it is they're trying to. [00:57:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:22] Speaker B: And they just give it to the masses. Because making money is a bad thing. Now, don't get me wrong. I mean, that's the humanitarian choice. You. You put it out there for free information. Right. I get that and everything, but it was like, everybody's reason for going to this island, but the one doctor was for money. Yeah, everybody. And all those people died trying to get this money. And they're just like, let's just give it. [00:57:48] Speaker A: Let's just give it away. [00:57:48] Speaker B: Let's give it. My. [00:57:50] Speaker A: My mom suffered a heart attack. [00:57:52] Speaker B: Okay. [00:57:52] Speaker A: So I'm just gonna give it away. I forgot about that. So let's just give it away. Yeah, Yeah, I missed funeral, so let's just give it away. [00:58:01] Speaker C: I have no idea. But, you know, they're just throwing it out there. [00:58:04] Speaker B: Again, backstory to characters that never went anywhere. Like, why did we learn about her? The way she lived her life and her money and her mother scene between [00:58:12] Speaker C: her and Maherschel and somebody else where they're just like, trauma dumping on each other for no reason. [00:58:16] Speaker A: It's like, yeah, yeah. [00:58:17] Speaker C: Why is this in my Jurassic park movie? If you enjoy the show and appreciate what we do, we do have a patreon going on right now where you can sign up for different tier levels. We greatly appreciate you all for just coming here and hanging out. But if you do want to support us, that is one way that you can do it. [00:58:30] Speaker B: Big shout out to our executive producers, Real Bubba, Hotep, Dino, and Elder JM990. Thank you all for donating to help us keep this going and facilitate some of our a little bit more expensive needs. All the money that you send us goes right into my pocket. No, actually, if you really want to help support us and you don't have the money to give to us, just share this video with your friends and get the word out so that more people can come and join us also. Okay. We talked this movie to death. I felt like we gave it more than it was even due. This movie was just dumb. It was written dumb. It had just a totally pointless plot. Everything about this movie was basically pointless. This was just a journey to get from one exciting episode to the next. And those episodes, though, they were entertaining in a way that reminded me of its origins. They didn't really carry this movie enough for me to be excited about it. Overall, this movie comes in at an abysmal 61, which is pretty low for such a big budget movie. And some of some actors that I think are really amazing who did an underwhelming performance with bad lines, bad dialogue, and bad character development throughout this film. If you are a big fan of this franchise, then I would recommend that you go ahead and see this, but you should probably wait until it's streaming on a service that you're already paying for, because I don't think this is worth the price of popcorn. [01:00:05] Speaker C: Yeah, Brian kind of nailed this one on the head. As far as my list of Jurassic World movies go, or Jurassic park and World movies go, this one lands pretty much in the middle. It's not a great film. None of the plot points really go anywhere, and that's actually incredibly frustrating. But the dino sequences are some of the more fun that we've had recently. And as silly as they are, I found myself enjoying them more than, say, Fallen Kingdom or Dominion, where those movies, I feel like they were trying to sell me a bill of goods. And I never really got what I wanted from them, which is dinosaurs living amongst people. And in this movie, they were like, no, we're going back to an island. And that's exactly what they gave me. They. They gave me what I thought I was going to be getting. Was it good? Not necessarily, but I had fun with it, probably more than I should have. Maybe that was due to watching with my kids. I don't really know. I think the movie sounded fine, looked fine. I think the acting got better as it went along. Pretty much everything before they get on a boat was horrendous, but once they get on the boat, the. Once the actual movie starts, if you will. I thought it was actually pretty fun. I hate the fact that I'm just saying fun over and over again. I just. I really don't have anything better to say about this other than it was poorly written, kind of okay acted, but fun in the long run. This gets a 65 for me, which puts it literally directly in the middle of all the Jurassic Parks. And honestly, if you make a movie with dinosaurs, I'm probably gonna go see it too. So we'll be here for the next one. [01:01:30] Speaker B: All right. [01:01:31] Speaker A: What hasn't been said? Not a lot. I'll just recap what I've already said in numerous rants throughout here. The movie is boring. I was not invested in the characters. I was not invested in the stakes. I was not invested in the dinosaurs. More so the mutants in this movie. Now, here's the biggest problem is Jurassic World Rebirth is all like corporations are bad. They're gonna make all this money. That's exactly what the Jurassic park movies are doing right now. They are a big corporation just making terrible movies because they know people are going to watch them because there's dinosaurs and they're taking advantage of us, just like the big corporations they're talking about in these movies. We are doing exactly what they say is bad in the movies, but in real life. [01:02:26] Speaker B: What the f chat. [01:02:27] Speaker A: Why can't we actually see that and put a stop to it? We could get quality Jurassic park movies if we stop going to see these horrible Jurassic park movies. 50 out of 100. There's some fun scenes if you like popcorn. I enjoyed my popcorn. I ate the whole bag because I had nothing better to do. It was the large. [01:02:54] Speaker C: In keeping with the film itself. This reveal is going to be pretty boring because nothing changed Brian's score. My score boasted the exact same. Will's score actually went up by two points, but the overall average didn't move. Jurassic park stays exactly where it is. Below Gremlins and above Venom. [01:03:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I think Dominion and Fallen Kingdom were so bad. Like, they were worse than this movie. They were bad. [01:03:28] Speaker C: They really were. Now, out of curiosity, this one I mentioned does land, like, smack dab in the middle of the Jurassic park franchise. I think Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, and Jurassic Park Lost World are all decent enough for what they are. Obviously, Jurassic park is by far the best, but the other two are fine movies. This one's okay. And then the other three are all pretty rough. I liked the first half of Kingdom, but the second half is so painfully bad. Right. Didn't like three at all. And Dominion. I was just too many movies at once. I just didn't. I didn't care for that one. Does that. Where does this one land on your rank of seven for you two? [01:04:07] Speaker A: I think it's about the same. It's somewhere. It's probably just under World or just under the original three. I. I still think they at least had some. Oh, this is kind of new. And. Oh, it's still exciting because it's Jurassic park and now it's just nothing new and everything sucks. So it's just somewhere in the middle. [01:04:30] Speaker C: That's fair. [01:04:31] Speaker B: I don't remember what my scores were, but I'm guessing that if. If I'm accurate in my scoring that it went one, two World and then Rebirth and then whatever else they made. I don't care because it's worse than this. And this is pretty bad. [01:04:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:04:48] Speaker A: I still think is better than this. [01:04:51] Speaker C: I. I actually have your scores directly in front of me, Brian. You actually have higher than Park. [01:04:57] Speaker A: Yeah. You love World. You're the world. [01:05:00] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. I was looking at that. I was like, what did I give that? Like an 88 or something? [01:05:03] Speaker C: Yeah. 88 for world, 87 for park. So it's. It's only one higher, but it is higher. And then this one actually tied for Jurassic Park 2 with you. Yeah. [01:05:13] Speaker B: Well, I think my Jurassic World scoring was off that day or something. Maybe. I don't know. It came to the show high. I don't know. [01:05:19] Speaker A: That's fine. I mean, it's like one point difference. It's like, yeah, any given day, one could overtake the other. [01:05:25] Speaker B: Right? [01:05:25] Speaker A: Like, they're in the similar boat. [01:05:28] Speaker C: And I think. I think if I remember correctly, your reasoning was just. I've seen Jurassic Park a billion times. This is still kind of new and. And fun. And I think that kind of. Anyway, it doesn't matter. That was your score of the time. I'm just saying, I. I didn't hate this movie. It's not a high recommendation. I just didn't hate it. As far as Jurassic Parks goes, you can do a lot worse. That's our rating of Jurassic World Rebirth. But what's yours? Let us know down in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you. We record this live on Thursday nights over at Twitch tv themongoolishow. So you can head over there, hit the follow button, or if you enjoyed this video, just hit like and subscribe so that we see you in the next one.