Ep30 - Jurassic World (2015)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Jurassic World 2025. 22 years after the first park closed shop due to slight technical difficulties, the new and improved Jurassic World has already been wowing eager dino enthusiasts for 10 years. Unfortunately, with attendance slowly waning, the shareholders must find innovative ways to keep interest in dinosaurs. Wow. Just biff that whole sentence. Fix it in post. Unfortunately, with attendance slowly waning, the shareholders must find innovative ways to keep interest in dinosaurs up year after year. So naturally, they choose to artificially engineer the scariest, most Frankenstein monster dinosaur money could buy. And before they even know what they have, they are patenting it, packaging it, and slapping it on a plastic lunchbox. Lunchbox. [00:00:52] Speaker B: Good lord. [00:00:53] Speaker A: Learn to read. And now they're selling it. Selling it to the highest bidder. Let's just talk about this trash movie. [00:01:03] Speaker C: I think I might just keep that as is. Just whatever. [00:01:05] Speaker A: Please do. [00:01:06] Speaker B: This one's got Will flustered. I think it's great. [00:01:08] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [00:01:09] Speaker B: Lunchbox. [00:01:10] Speaker A: Lunchbox. [00:01:10] Speaker C: I mean, you have done. You have nailed that every week since we started. This is the first time you flustered and you flustered, like, three times. This one's got you on a tizzy agent. [00:01:21] Speaker A: You. [00:01:21] Speaker B: You didn't like Jurassic World. I'm taking it. [00:01:25] Speaker A: I've seen better, Brian. Better. [00:01:31] Speaker C: Now, this is. Is this your first time watching this one or you've seen this one before? [00:01:35] Speaker A: I watched this in theaters when it was. [00:01:37] Speaker C: Oh, wow. Okay. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Because dinosaurs, right? It's been a while. We all love dinosaurs. Jurassic park. Right? We all love Jurassic Park. Dan, you can back me on that. [00:01:47] Speaker C: Absolutely. I love Jurassic Park. [00:01:49] Speaker A: This is not Jurassic Park. [00:01:53] Speaker C: It is not quite. No. [00:01:55] Speaker A: Unfortunately, it tries to be Jurassic Park a lot, which is part of the problem. [00:02:00] Speaker C: It does go a little bit too far in that direction where they're trying to play a lot of homages to it instead of doing their own thing, but. Well, I'm going to. I'm going to save. Where Just for now. Brian, have you seen this movie before? Was this your first time visiting this one? [00:02:14] Speaker B: Okay, so I don't remember when I saw it the first time, but this was my second and third time watching it. I rewatched it twice this week because. Loves it, because I enjoyed it so much that I wasn't sure what was going on, and I had to rewatch it to make sure. Am I really enjoying this trash film this much? [00:02:36] Speaker A: Right. [00:02:37] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie. This. This movie has so many flaws, so many loopholes, so many things wrong with it. But for me, the fun factor was off the charts, and I had a really good time watching this movie, both [00:02:49] Speaker C: times, you have no idea how relieved that makes me because I didn't have the ammunition for this one that I had for Jurassic Park. Like, I was like, I don't have it to go like two on one on this. I liked this movie. I know it's got flaws. I don't care. I enjoyed it. I don't love it. It's not Jurassic park, right? I really did enjoy this one. I was just like, I don't. Like, if you come at me with bad writing, I'm going have to go like, yeah, it's pretty poorly written. And if you come at me with bad cgi, you'd be like, yeah, there are some parts. And if you come back me with like, their loopholes and like the characters don't really get fleshed out and all these other things. I'm like, yeah, but I still really liked it. [00:03:26] Speaker B: I mean, at one point we've got Chris Pratt driving a motorcycle with a pack of raptors through the jungle. And I looked over at my kids and I'm like, that's. That's friggin cool. I'm sorry, it's stupid. It's way out of, like, it's completely out of line. But it was just friggin cool, so. And it was. It was moments like that that are sprinkled throughout this entire film that make it fun and enjoyable. And every time it's a little too much, it's a little over the top. It's a little ridiculous. Somebody is given a line to let me know that they don't think I'm stupid. They want me to know that they're lazy and that's why they wrote these ridiculous plot holes and errors and all this stuff that's happening, these shortcuts that they took, they let me know it's. It's cool. We're all in on it. And so it made it easy for me to enjoy the ridiculousness. You've got Jake Johnson playing the Lowry character. Right off the bat, he's got Jurassic Park T shirt on. They raise that out. He even says, the OG is always better. Like, we're all thinking that. And they kind of just stayed out there for us. There's lots of those throughout the movie. [00:04:39] Speaker C: What did you guys think about the I Will kind of touched on this. And it's. It's kind of the one. Unlike the original Jurassic park and even Jurassic Lost World to some extent, they don't really go hard on any of the actual, like, science or like, themes of, like, what nature is in this movie they kind of just jump right into. Dinosaurs are bad and they're chasing people. But the one thing they do talk about is almost human nature. Which is, which is like. Yeah, after like two years or however long the park's been open of seeing dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are boring now. It's just looking at elephants. They need something bigger, they need something scarier, they need something faster. Do you think that that's actually how that would go? Do you think that if you could actually go and see dinosaurs in a short, a relatively short amount of time, I forget how long the park is open. Tourists would just be like, eh, it's just a T. Rex. Do you think the Indominus is a natural evolution of what the park needs to be? [00:05:34] Speaker B: Absolutely not. No. That was just stupid. That, I mean, we, we, we know this is a blunder. Everybody knows it's a blunder. Like everybody but the characters in the movie and most of them even know it's a blunder that they went this route. It, it barely makes any sense. They try to make it a logical advancement, but, but why would you jump to that limit? We did have the scene with Dr. Henry Wu where he's saying, we've been doing this all along. We've been implanting genes all along. We're just doing it even more. And I love that he even put the line in that says you didn't want accurate. You wanted dinosaurs the way you believed them. So otherwise they would have ended up differently. We saw in previous movies raptors with feathers and stuff like that. And this movie that went back to the traditional raptor. So it's kind of nice to like explain, hey, this is why things are appearing a little different. So that was cool. [00:06:27] Speaker C: I actually really liked that line, the inclusion of that line for why the dinosaurs look. Because like in 2015, our understanding of dinosaurs has changed since 1993. [00:06:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:36] Speaker C: And instead of being like, oh, we're going to try and Jurassic Park 3 this and make them look more like they should theoretically. Nah, we're going to make them look like you think they should look in the movies. This is what, this is what a raptor looks like to you. This is what a T. Rex looks like to you. We're just going to run with it and they gave you permission. I really actually did like that line in there. [00:06:54] Speaker B: What did you guys think about the character Dr. Henry Wu? BD Wong is his name for me, he was a very complex character. I'm sort of like, I don't know if the actor, maybe the dialogue Wasn't right. But I couldn't really position him as evil scientist or idealist or any. Like, I couldn't really figure his place in this. And that was okay with me because it was more of a non traditional character. And I, like, kind of struggling with that character, but it was a weird one for me. What do you guys think about. About Dr. Henry Lou? [00:07:28] Speaker C: I kind of like the idea that he's not all, all, all nurturing and good or, you know, mustache, twirlingly evil. Like, both of those are kind of dull to me. The fact that he's just a guy who's like, no, I'm gonna get paid and I'm gonna get to do all this incredibly interesting scientific stuff that I want to do. But, like, he's got a reason for it, whether you agree with that reason or not. But, like, yeah, like, as you said, we've been messing with, like, none of this is pure. Like, this is not a. We've never had a pure T. Rex. We don't even know how to do that. Everything we've done has been a Frankenstein's monster. So don't chastise me for making another Frankenstein's monster. [00:08:05] Speaker A: Right. [00:08:06] Speaker C: I think that there should have been more openness for what was in that monster. Specifically when they're coming up to him being like, hey, it's loose. We need to know what's in it. He's like, I don't have to tell you. It's like, oh, yeah. [00:08:16] Speaker B: He said. He literally says. He says, you know, I'm not allowed to tell you what's in those assets. And then he proceeds to say something that was completely unrelated, as if it was an excuse for that rule, but it was like, completely unrelated to the conversation. I don't remember what he said after that, but I would remember going away from like, wait a minute, that's not an excuse. Why can't you tell him? Why is. Why is there a rule? Because they want the big Raptor reveal later, obviously. And it was just lazy writing again, but it was. It was just kind of ridiculous. [00:08:47] Speaker C: What do you think, Will? [00:08:48] Speaker A: He's the. He's the Wayne Knight of this, of this installment, as far as I'm concerned. Wayne Knight obviously wanted his cake and eat it too. Went about it a much different way. You know, he wasn't a scientist. He didn't have all the ways to create and modify dinosaurs. Wong is that character. He has the way to do it. So he is going kind of back door to the military to get these creature is up to Snuff for warfare or whatever stupid ass idea it is. That doesn't make any sense. But he can have his cake and eat it too, because he's got the means to do both things. Whereas Wayne Knight was frantically just trying to steal and get off that island. Right. So it's a smart Wayne Knight character as far as I'm concerned. [00:09:35] Speaker C: Yeah. The. The military aspect of this movie, super flat on a whole new level. I love Vincent d'. Onofrio, and I've been watching Daredevil with my kids. Not Born Again, just the original series with my kids. And I was like, do you recognize them? And they couldn't place them. And I'm just like, that's Kingpin. And even knowing it, they're just like, I can't see it. It's like, yeah, because he's a freaking good actor. [00:09:59] Speaker A: Like, yeah, that's too bad lines in this movie. [00:10:04] Speaker B: Yeah, well, sure. [00:10:05] Speaker C: But I still like watching them. Yeah, good actors are still fun to watch. [00:10:10] Speaker B: I thought a lot of the characters were like, a cliche. We had. We had, I don't know, security guard number one who's like the big fat lazy guy eating a chili dog and spilling on himself. As soon as I saw that guy, I'm like, you're the first victim. Like, that was so obvious. And. And there were so many of these characters that were just so flamboyantly dressed in the direction that they wanted us to know who this character was because there wasn't good enough writing to actually develop this character. Speaking of looks, I gotta say, the high heels and shoulder pads were just atrocious. Right. Can we just take a minute and discuss that? That seems important. [00:10:50] Speaker C: So the one thing I was thinking about that is, I'm not disagreeing with you. I am not disagreeing with you. But that's the thing everybody brings up is, like, running in high heels and how, like, tough that is. [00:10:59] Speaker A: What? [00:10:59] Speaker C: Not. [00:10:59] Speaker B: She outran T. Rex racing like a race car. [00:11:03] Speaker C: I know, I get it. [00:11:04] Speaker A: I'm not T. Rex, though. He's over the hill. [00:11:08] Speaker C: I'm not defending it. I'm just saying it looked like Bryce Dallas Howard was actually running in high heels in a multiple scenes. [00:11:16] Speaker B: Yes. That was actually. [00:11:17] Speaker C: Props do. [00:11:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:19] Speaker C: That's pretty impressive to me. Somebody who's ever actually worn them, but they look tough. That looks hard to do. Like, I'm not saying she's outrunning a T. Rex anytime soon with or without heels, but, like, just the fact she was doing it, period, is kind of like, damn. All right, Good on You. [00:11:32] Speaker A: Yeah, Actually, apparently she did the substantial training in sports heels to strengthen her ankles so that she could run in heels throughout the movie. Wow. She was. She went on sedating that it's easier to run through mud and. And jungle in heels than it is barefoot. [00:11:50] Speaker B: Really? [00:11:51] Speaker A: That's. That's what I've. [00:11:52] Speaker B: I've got that stiletto thing kind of staking you in the ground with each step so you don't really fall over as long as I guess. [00:11:58] Speaker A: Either way, it's still obnoxious that they outrun a Team T. Rex, but that T. Rex has been outran so many times. [00:12:05] Speaker C: I was just about to say they've been out running the T. Rex in every movie like that. T. Rex for being able to go 34km or whatever they clock it at is the slowest thing we've ever seen. Like, I don't think it's caught anything ever. One gallimus. [00:12:19] Speaker A: It. [00:12:19] Speaker B: Cat. [00:12:19] Speaker C: It caught a gallimimus. [00:12:23] Speaker B: And. And Claire's character was. Was interesting in that. Okay. Her haircut, her shoulder pads, her heels, all the look just absolutely drove me nuts. But I kind of liked her character. I like seeing the. I mean, it was. It was a basic character arc, right? About how she kind of changes and becomes this loving. More of a nurturing mother figure, sorta to the kids, whatever. It was. Like she goes through some shit and she comes out a badass in the end. Sort of like there's this sequence now, keep in mind from the kids perspective, they have been out in the wilds like the whole movie. They come up on a dude laying on the ground being attacked by a flying dinosaur. She smacks it in the head with a butt of the gun, puts three rounds in the thing. She looks like Rambo in a white dress, right? She looks freaking badass. And in the very next scene, they're like, hey, can we stay with you? And she's like, yeah, you can stay with me. And they're like, no, with him, [00:13:21] Speaker C: this [00:13:21] Speaker B: does not feel safe. [00:13:22] Speaker C: Can we stay with you? [00:13:24] Speaker A: I am never leaving you as long as. As you live. [00:13:29] Speaker B: And I'm like, from my perspective, he drove a car backwards 30ft. That's all you've seen him do. She should be the badass in that scene. And she kind of was. I thought they kind of robbed her for a lame joke, but it was nice seeing Chris Pratt not be so Star Lord in this film. He was a little more serious. [00:13:51] Speaker C: The other side of that equation, though, is in the same day, she also abandoned them to go do other things that's true. [00:13:57] Speaker B: That's true. [00:13:59] Speaker C: That being said, like, you mentioned, like, the plot of her growing as a character, which is thin. I actually really, like. I was going to say Star Lord Chris Pratt in this movie, and I think he's got so much charisma that, like, the scenes with the two of them work better than any scene with just Bryce Dallas Howard, to the point where I don't know if you take him out of the movie, if her character does work, or if it's just I like him so much that, like, the glow from him is shining on her. If that makes sense at all. [00:14:29] Speaker B: That kind of makes sense. Yeah. I'm gonna. [00:14:32] Speaker A: I'm gonna start the hate comments. Rolling. [00:14:35] Speaker C: Here we go. You don't like Chris Pratt at all? [00:14:37] Speaker A: I didn't like Chris Pratt in this movie at all. [00:14:39] Speaker C: Okay. [00:14:40] Speaker A: Chris Pratt, to me, is the Star lord character in Mo. Almost 90% of his things that he has act in. He's this kind of goofy, fun loving, charismatic character. He is not a cool guy that those other qualities make him cool. He is not this cool Navy guy who trains raptors. And every time he's, like, saying anything or, like, looks to the side and does something, it. It just looks so forced. Like, he's like the director's like, okay, now just pretend you're cool. And he just, like, turns on this, like, and I'm gonna live with my raptors and this motorcycle, and we're gonna be awesome forever. And it just was so forced throughout the movie. Like, it was so bad. It took me out of the movie every time he talked, almost. It was. It was brutal for me. It's just not. It's not a quality Chris Pratt has. And maybe he has it now. Yeah, what, 10 years later? Maybe he's done other things that he's played a cool, calm, collected guy, but this was not it for me. [00:15:44] Speaker B: I was just happy to see him try to not be Star Lord. You're right. He didn't do a great job. Acting is one of the lowest scores of all my categories for this film, aside from the plot, of course. And it was definitely a weak point in the movie. These actors were good enough, and I wasn't coming for the chemistry. I wasn't coming to be. There was none Star struck. I don't know. I thought there was a little bit of chemistry during some of those scenes, but it wasn't. It wasn't anything great. It wasn't. [00:16:17] Speaker A: The chemistry was between the old kid and the random girls he's making eyes at. That was the Most chemistry in the whole movie that. [00:16:27] Speaker B: That just creepy, solid staring gave him absolutely emotionally, just. Just like, mouth breathing, like he was freaking Sling Blade or something at them. It was crazy. [00:16:40] Speaker A: And the most emotion I saw in the movie was the lady, the assistant who just gets ripped up by the pteran. Just gets brutalized, man, out of nowhere, right? [00:16:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:51] Speaker A: So crazy. [00:16:52] Speaker B: She was fish food by the end of that. And I was like, what did she do other than take on this, like, shitty role as the assistant watching the kids? It wasn't like she was terrible at it. She's trying. [00:17:02] Speaker C: She was pretty terrible at it. Let's be fair. She was. She was on her cell phone the entire time. She wasn't paying attention. They walked away and she didn't even notice. [00:17:11] Speaker B: She's probably got other things to do. She was better than. [00:17:14] Speaker C: She might have better things to do, but that still makes you terrible at babysitting. [00:17:17] Speaker A: Still better than the aunt, though. No, the aunt agreed to babysit. [00:17:21] Speaker C: I mean, at least. At least the aunt delegated. [00:17:26] Speaker B: And honestly, very well. At the end, when Claire is, like, hugging the kids and everybody's all happy and getting along and it looks like the parents aren't gonna get a divorce anymore or whatever, it was all just like. I don't think everything comes together, you know, like some sort of insurance commercial. This doesn't improve your life. You guys went through traumatic stuff and saw people die left and right. Like, this isn't the happiest. [00:17:50] Speaker C: You should. [00:17:51] Speaker B: It shouldn't be a happy ending. And that felt really kind of weird. [00:17:55] Speaker C: You are scarred for life at this point. [00:17:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:58] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:17:58] Speaker A: A lot of therapy with that family, for sure. [00:18:02] Speaker C: What did you guys think about just seeing the actual park in action? That's one thing we've never seen to this point. It's always been theoretical, been building. It's been the other island. Seeing the park actually in motion, I thought was actually a really cool idea and gave you a ton of fodder, which the other movies didn't have as much of, where you didn't have to build the characters. It was just like, here's some people. Here's the. Here's. Like, we were talking, I think, last week about those cards. They're just like, what would happen if dinosaurs were in the real world? And here we actually kind of got to see it. What do you guys think of that? [00:18:32] Speaker B: I. I thought that the SeaWorld scene was a little weird, how it was just like a. A ramped up SeaWorld kind of thing. Like it was a dinosaur instead of a Killer whale. But it was all the same. It just felt. I was almost waiting for, like, Ron Burgundy to come out there and be like, wait, is this. What movie are we watching? So that was kind of weird, but the rest of it was cool. I love the hamster balls. I loved the pterodactyl cage, even though that was ridiculous. Everything looks so expensive. You know, the tickets to go to that place would be like $3,000 a person. [00:19:03] Speaker C: Maybe they have a coupon day. [00:19:04] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe. I don't know. It seemed. It seemed a bit unrealistic. But by this point, right by Jurassic World 14, I'm just like, yeah, I'm here to watch dinosaurs eat people. I don't care. [00:19:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I. I disagree. I thought the park sucked. [00:19:22] Speaker B: Really? [00:19:24] Speaker A: Well, here's my problem, okay? I don't like going to zoos. I don't like seeing animals depressed in cages and that this was worse than that. These were like domesticated cows. And that's even sadder because they're not even happy dinosaurs that get to frolic and, and eat and, and live their best lives. They are just caged animals that hamster balls roll around beside them. And they have to be so calm and tame that they wouldn't attack these hamster balls. There's no legality issues with having these hamster balls driven by underage children just rolling around aimlessly with no rules or regulations. Like, give me a break. They have a petting zoo with dinosaurs in it. Come on, get out of here. The SeaWorld part was the only part that was actually like, that's what it would be is this big tank, this dinosaur floating around. And it was cool that they put the hydraulics or lowered the audience so they can see above and below the tank. That was the only interesting part that made any sense to me. In my mind, the rest of the park was outrageous. [00:20:30] Speaker B: Well, the bron around the island impeded, and that didn't work out too well for him. [00:20:37] Speaker A: Yep. [00:20:41] Speaker C: Agree. Yes. Yeah, the kids control the hamster balls. Seem very weird. [00:20:47] Speaker A: I can't. I can't get over it. Even, like, the raptor pen was like, so small. There's like four raptors in there. It's so small for those four raptors. [00:20:57] Speaker C: Is it not bigger than the one in Jurassic park, though? [00:21:00] Speaker A: I don't know if you ever get a clear picture of the one in Jurassic Park. You just see the big walls. This one, you see the whole thing, and it looks like the size of a frickin gymnasium. It's like so tiny. [00:21:11] Speaker B: I agree. When the Kids were on the baby Triceratops. I was like, okay, this is pretty sad, because I'm like, you will. I don't really like going to zoos because it does feel sad to me. I just can't help. [00:21:23] Speaker C: The dinosaurs aren't real, Right? [00:21:24] Speaker A: But, yes, we are watching a world where they are. [00:21:28] Speaker B: Yeah. And you know that. So if we're gonna compare it to a zoo, how come in my life, I cannot? Maybe I've heard this, but I can't remember a time when I heard of an animal escaping a zoo. Why can we not get regular zoo people to watch the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park? Because we're on, I don't know, movie 14 of this franchise, and every time the dinosaurs get loose, and I'm thinking, we. We need to hire better zookeepers. [00:21:59] Speaker C: Have. Okay, okay, Counterpoint the D. The animals in the zoos don't always get out. But how many times you heard about a person getting into the zoo and getting hurt? You can't tell me you haven't heard about harambe. [00:22:10] Speaker B: Okay, sure, 100%. [00:22:12] Speaker A: That's why they don't let him in. Hamster balls going right beside the damn thing. [00:22:15] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I agree with that. I'm just saying, like, it's not like zoos are bulletproof either. Like, people get hurt all the time. [00:22:21] Speaker B: You know what? The hamster ball thing was kind of ridiculous, but the sequence when the abdomen Rex, or whatever it was called, like, whatever, Whatever stupid dinosaur this is behind me, it bites into the ball and, like, pops its teeth into. Through that glass that's supposed to hold five tons or something. That was just a cool scene. And I was like, cool? None of this makes sense. But I accepted that a long time ago when the characters in the story, like, damn near broke the fourth wall to let us know. This is going to be real dumb, but you're going to enjoy it. And I was like, sweet. This is really dumb, but I'm enjoying it. [00:22:57] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing in this. Turning my brain off and smiling. [00:23:01] Speaker B: We're getting a lot of those movies lately. [00:23:03] Speaker C: I know. I was hoping this would be a thing in the right direction, but I was like, there's no chance Will's going to like this. [00:23:11] Speaker A: All right, speaking of dinosaurs escaping in the first movie, let's bring it back to something of quality. The dinosaurs didn't escape so much as they were released. Right, Nedry? [00:23:24] Speaker C: That's fair. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Shut down the park. The dinosaurs went crazy. That's how life works in this movie. The Impossible. Rex is smarter than humans and smarter than their technology and creates a cunning plan to escape by not escaping at all and letting the humans release it. What the actual frick is going on in this movie, man? Like, come on, Come on. You're telling me this dinosaur scritches up on the wall being like, oh, yeah, they're gonna think I jumped out of this place. Now let me just lower my temperature because I know they're watching me with their thermodynamics, and I'll just blend in perfectly with this camouflage. And then the idiot people are so stupid that they're like, we put in tracking things into this guy, but let's just go into the cage and make sure he's not in there so that he can get out. And then he, the dinosaur has the gall to be like, oh, remember when I was a baby and they implanted me when I was sedated? I'm gonna tear that out and just wait there to pounce on anybody who comes near me. Doesn't even leave the scene. So stupid. This whole movie is so stupid. [00:24:43] Speaker B: I just thought it was a really smart dinosaur and let it all go. [00:24:46] Speaker A: Not to mention they multiple times mention the invisible fence. Whatever implants that the dinosaurs have as well. They talk about it when the pachiosaurus is butthead, it malfunctions these chips, which I can only assume means if they leave their parameters, they're done. None of the dinosaurs had this in the movie. No dinosaurs are done once they leave their parameters. This movie is baloney. [00:25:16] Speaker C: All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm just gonna work myself through this for a second. I don't actually know how I feel about this. I'm just gonna. I'm talking. I'm thinking as I'm talking for the first time, what if what happened in the Indominus plan in the Indominus Rex cage was less of a well thought out plan and more of the humans are idiots. Like, the dinosaur tries to get out so it scratches the wall, right? Because, like, Chris passes. How long has those been there? But nobody answers them. Nobody's like, nobody else been there for [00:25:43] Speaker A: like, six months because. [00:25:44] Speaker C: Right, exactly. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Incompetence in this movie. [00:25:46] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. Like, we know, like, as soon as you see that guard and he's, like, overweight. The second he stands up, he's dying instantly. Right? Like, he's not good at his job. We know that instantly by looking at him. So, like, there's actually a red shirt. I don't know how long those been there. So maybe the dinosaur is not so much planning his escape so well, I mean, okay, not doing that on purpose to escape at that time so much as like testing like the raptors did in the first movie. Testing the walls, testing the gates, testing when he gets fed, stuff like that. And then he's just like having a nap. And so he's lowering his body temperature or whatever by literally just not doing anything. And they go and be like, hey, what's going on in here? He's like, oh, shit, the door's open. Cool. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Bye. [00:26:29] Speaker B: Like, okay, I'm just saying blaming competence [00:26:32] Speaker C: sometimes because, okay, [00:26:36] Speaker A: removing the track. [00:26:39] Speaker B: I think you guys, the point here, nobody fucking cares about the plot at this point in the Jurassic franchise. We, we have, we have accepted that Jurassic park or world should not, could not and will not exist. But we like watching dinosaurs smash through walls as Chris Pratt slides into home base and rolls under the car and then reaches up and finds a fuel line which is never attached to the vehicle properly. Why are they just hanging down like that? Nobody hangs a fuel line. I don't know if. [00:27:11] Speaker C: You better run because to me it's cool. [00:27:14] Speaker B: It's not a clear line either. You're not just gonna flick your knife open, pour it all, whatever covers himself in diesel so that the dinosaur doesn't smell him. But then there's like five other sequences where the dinosaur should smell him or other people and doesn't. Like, like when they're in the, like the little, the booth at the end in the park, the kids and him, they're all hanging and it's like walking around and it ends up getting after him. But it's just. Yeah, we don't, we don't need to worry about the plot, the plot. Like I was, I was ready to just toss that out the window from the get go. And when Jake Johnson shows off his Jurassic Park T shirt and says, yeah, the originals were better. Why do we need to make stuff bigger all the time? I was like, sweet. They know they're doing it too. We're all on board for this. [00:28:02] Speaker A: But that's a, that's a, that's a bigger issue as well. Is that okay? Yes. The people in this movie are incompetent. The writers of this movie are incompetent. But audience members are also incompetent because we should demand better. We've gotten better. We've seen better. We can have better. We can have a great action movie with great storytelling and great characters. Jurassic park, we can have that. We've had it. [00:28:33] Speaker C: Why? [00:28:34] Speaker A: Why Are we so against having that? And that's the problem with movies today in general is that people are just going to this for a five minute whatever, like, oh, it's so stupid. [00:28:46] Speaker B: Yay. [00:28:46] Speaker A: Let's just eat our popcorn and then completely forget about the whole movie. Then what's the point? If you're gonna just forget about the movie, why watch it in the first place? You want to watch movies that make you think Jurassic park made you think about the repercussions of humans interfering with nature and using science to become gods. And all of these things were sprinkled throughout that movie, which made you think about it and want to go back and watch it again and again. Not to mention bringing dinosaurs to life for the first time and awing and oohing over it. And of course, the repercussions of greedy people and greedy companies and what that ends up like in the real world now. It's not like that at all. And it's just. And this movie knew it. And that's what Brian was saying. This movie knew that we are all ignorant ignoramuses that are just going to watch this and make them a billion dollars anyway. So they didn't even try. They didn't even try. And they told it to your face that this movie is subpar. Why? Why are we watching this? [00:29:53] Speaker B: Actually, it was 1.6 billion and I'm okay with it. I've seen those. [00:29:59] Speaker A: You're part of the problem. [00:30:00] Speaker B: I've seen those things. We knew that before in Jurassic park, the first movie where it had the ramifications and they delved into it. And I don't need to rehash that on a grander scale with bigger dinosaurs. I don't care. I'm in it to watch the motorcycle guy drive with the raptors through the woods. I'm in it to watch this Supersaurus Rex smash through stuff and end up getting eaten by a giant whale dinosaur. I mean, the dinosaurs, the OG dinosaurs came together at the end like we haven't seen since Voltron, to defeat this disgusting abomination of a dinosaur. And that was fun and entertaining for me. Could it be a deeper film? Of course it could be. But that's not why I watched it. That's not why I watched it a second and third time. It's because there was some neat stuff and I had a good time with it. And even though they tell us, hey, we're dumbing this down and we don't care, we know what you're here for, we're giving you the Silly stuff. And you can just, you know, forget anything deep and meaningful. I'm all right. At least they're not treating me like I'm stupid and like I'm supposed to believe this nonsense. I'm in on the gag with them and so I'm okay with it. Had they tried to be serious about this plot, I would be just as upset about it as Will is. But because they let me in on the fact that this is pretty garbage plot as far as it goes, I was okay with just enjoying a garbage plot and just being entertained on this one. [00:31:42] Speaker C: I. I'm gonna weigh in for a second here. I agree with so much of what Will is saying to a point, which is, of course, obviously we want to have better movies. Like, why would we not? Why, in a world where Jurassic park exists, why wouldn't you always want Jurassic Park? So I get what you're saying with that. But not every movie has to be a huge thought producing, thought producing, thought provoking endeavor. You know what I mean? Not every time I want to go to the movies do I want to watch Killers of the Flower Moon or even Godfather. When I sit to have a meal, it's great to have steak and potatoes and salad, but sometimes you just want to have a little bit of cotton candy. And I don't think that's bad. I get that it's not healthy for you and you can't have it all the time. You wouldn't want to have it all the time, but once in a while it's nice to have that little treat, even though you know that it's bad for you overall. [00:32:36] Speaker B: And could it be that they positioned this movie more for the masses to make money and had they put in serious writing, serious thought provoking writing would the movie made has as much money? [00:32:50] Speaker A: Absolutely. It would have. [00:32:53] Speaker B: I don't know that for sure. I don't know that for sure. It might have been too lofty for some people who just wanted to go and watch Dinosaurs breaks. [00:32:59] Speaker A: I'm not, I'm not asking for Godfather writing. I'm asking for a quality action movie plot. You know, like, at least make it make sense. It should be somewhat thought provoking. There's so much science in this movie. Like, how can you remove all the thought provoking out of it? It just, it boggles the mind. And I just feel like modern action movies specifically just fall into this. Like we don't care and it shows and people go to it anyway and so they're not, not gonna stop. And instead it's going to Become more and more difficult to find quality action movies. AKA Fury Road. Incredible. Again, super thin plot, but at least it made sense. And this is. It's just a train wreck for me. And I. I can't. I can't. I can't enjoy it because it's not bad enough to be enjoyable because they're really putting a lot into it in all the wrong ways. And that's fine. You guys eat your cheeseburgers. I want to stick with the steak a little bit. I want a little bit. I just feel like there's going to be no steak on the table at all anymore. That's. That's my biggest problem. [00:34:20] Speaker C: The problem is, most of the time, steak doesn't get a sequel. So we're just not going to talk about it on this show. It's all McDonald's, baby. [00:34:29] Speaker A: Oh, my Lord. Well, yeah, that's the problem. It's like the first serving steak and then it's just dessert from there on. I just. I guess I'm just sick of dessert. [00:34:38] Speaker C: Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, we've had a bit of a rough run recently, so. I totally understand that. [00:34:43] Speaker B: One thing I think we can all agree on, the Jimmy Fallon cameo was perfect. So. That was perfect. [00:34:52] Speaker A: That was. [00:34:52] Speaker B: I love that little bit. [00:34:53] Speaker C: I don't think we'll agree with you on that. [00:34:56] Speaker A: Brian's being a little bit of a. It was. [00:35:00] Speaker B: It was funny because he comes in, gets that glue, and he's like, is this real? And he just falls over. It was. It was funny. I like that. [00:35:05] Speaker A: So, yeah, that was good. This movie was great. My rating might not reflect it, though. [00:35:13] Speaker C: Fair enough. Do we want to get to the ratings? Do you have anything? [00:35:17] Speaker A: Can I just say, I agree. Vincent is very good actor. That's all I have to say. He's really good in this movie. Even though his character was horrible and just one dimensional, he. And to the point where like, he's like, oh, the raptor's gonna like totally eat his lunch, AKA his arm. And he's like, oh, easy there. He's like snapping, trying to like be the alpha. And then he gives the wrong hand signal. And I looked it up and he gives the feeding time hand signal instead of the I'm the alpha signal. So that was kind of fun. [00:35:55] Speaker B: I didn't know that. [00:35:56] Speaker C: That's actually a pretty nice little piece of trivia. I didn't know that either. 2015 drones existed, right? [00:36:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:36:03] Speaker C: So, like, raptors as a military? No, like, that doesn't make a lick of sense. Cool. Okay, good. Just wanted to make sure the raptors as a military tool actually makes more sense. In the movie you just talked about in like A Fury Road where like we don't have any better technology. Send dinosaurs. What, what could go wrong? But in this world where you have a drone strike, they're like oh well, we can send them into caves in Afghanistan. I'm like, I appreciate you just bombed the cave, bud, but okay, you do [00:36:27] Speaker B: you like, why were they going after it with pellet guns? Like, like you see these like the first group that goes after them, they're bringing out all these big like, like square shotgun futuristic looking like energy weapons and stuff. And they're like oh, like they special effort to show all this fancy equipment off and these like tough ombre looking dudes. And then they go into the, the little, the little control room and they're like, you're going to use non lethal weaponry to, to, to, to, to track this down and, and they're like yeah, we have $26 million invested in the asset. And I'm like, that's pretty fancy for shooting rubber bullets at it. Like it was. And, and then the whole. And then later the one, the one part of the sound effects that I really didn't like, they had that Gatling gun, it was a minigun attached. And they had the wrong sound to it. Whoever did it put the sound to a heavy machine gun that was timed with the tracer rounds. Not knowing that there are rounds in between the tracer rounds. And it was supposed to hum. And hearing that go like that, I'm like, that's not what that gun sounds like. It was very frustrating to me. Just a little thing that bothered me. But you know, they weren't doing their homework on stuff really. [00:37:48] Speaker C: I think that was literally Will's point this entire time. [00:37:53] Speaker A: That's what got you, eh, Brian? [00:37:56] Speaker B: We all got our little points that we get stuck on. [00:38:00] Speaker C: One of the things that was curious about this movie is it does take place on Isle of New Bar, which is where the original Jurassic park happens. And in real world it's 22 years later. And I think in the movie it's like 20 years later. Like it's, it's roughly the same amount of time. [00:38:12] Speaker A: Yeah, about the same. Yeah, about the same. [00:38:14] Speaker C: I'm not a mechanic. Is there any world where that gas would still be viable? Like they get that truck working and they're like oh, we used a different battery. But like the gas itself. No, it dissipates over time or something. [00:38:26] Speaker B: Yeah, you get two, three years on a Tank of gas that sits like that. And the battery. Yeah, it's a 20 year old battery that they're taking out and putting into an equally old truck. I would have been happier had they rolled it down a hill and pop started it. It still wouldn't run because the gas is water. Right. But. But yeah, it was. That was ridiculous. [00:38:45] Speaker C: Okay, that was. That was one thing that the guinea [00:38:48] Speaker A: pig ball that are like the one little kid's like, where's the dinosaurs? And then three seconds later they're surrounded by dinosaurs being like, oh, there they are. Or they're running and jumping off of the waterfall again, away from the big old Rexy Supreme. And as they climb their way up onto the mud and the older kids like, you did it. You jumped as if it was never gonna happen. As if they set up that this kid was afraid of heights or something. That he had some sort of inner turmoil about making the jump. It was not there. It was just like a sore thumb that. Why are these kids even talking about this? [00:39:25] Speaker C: Didn't he say right before, they're like. While their eyes like, oh, we're gonna jump on three. He's like, I'm not gonna jump or something. Didn't. He wasn't there. I mean, I'm. It's a throwaway line and it's not like. I'm just saying, like. Wasn't that why he was kind of surprised? Like, I didn't think it was. [00:39:37] Speaker B: I think it was just yet another failed character development arc. [00:39:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:42] Speaker B: I mean there was so many of them in this movie. You know who the characters are and what's going to happen to them before anything. Like as soon as you see them, the way they are dressed, the color scheme that they've got going on, this over the top attitude. You know, he's drinking a Coca Cola while he's working on his motorcycle. Like he's swigging a beer. I'm like, why not just give him the beer? Let him be a little more real. Like, it was dumb. Yeah. You know, everything that's gonna happen to everybody before it happens. So you're just waiting to see it happen. [00:40:11] Speaker C: Now the other thing kind of going along with the ruins aspect of this is they go into, well, the scene right behind Will. Right. Like they go into that room, I'm pretty sure. [00:40:20] Speaker A: Burn this banner. [00:40:21] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:40:24] Speaker A: it's like a flag burning again. [00:40:26] Speaker C: I don't know. I've never been around ruins like that before. But like the world has been completely in cub. Like we talked about this in the Jurassic world. Jurassic Park 3 where like everything is rusting so incredibly fastly, fastly, quickly. But like the actual ground around the, the mansion or the, the the center is completely different. Cuz like when you see it in Jurassic park, it is like an open field with like fountains and stuff like that. And here it's like completely engulfed in jungle. And I'm like, I don't know, I. 20 years does not feel like enough time for the jungle to have completely taken back this piece of nature. But again, I have like, I, I'm [00:41:04] Speaker B: not versed in this whatsoever that the writers and directors of this movie are really worried about that. They're probably like, hey, we're gonna change one of the words in the title. And I bet half the people that watch this won't even notice that like they, they just didn't really care about anything. They're just like, yeah, we're just gonna make a billion dollars doing the dinosaur thing again. [00:41:25] Speaker A: At least they didn't put intimate Rex. Rex's face on the, on the logo. [00:41:30] Speaker B: That's true. They went OG on him. I mean there wasn't a written down [00:41:34] Speaker C: list of different names you're going to use for this thing. So I don't think you've used the same one twice. And it's amazing. [00:41:39] Speaker B: There was a theme in this movie where they immediately, they tried to get this theme going. They didn't really gain ground until the very end. I was like, oh, I think that's what they're doing. They made this monster dinosaur and they tried to make this dinosaur a monster, not a dinosaur. They repeatedly say this again and again throughout the film and they try and separate this dinosaur so that it's Jurassic park versus the monster by the end of it. And you have the dinosaurs literally team up to take it down and the humans are just there for the spectacle. And high heels, I don't know, is so, so it was kind of weird. And they didn't, they didn't hit that theme very well. Like I said, the plot that is, is horrible. It's absolutely horrible. But I knew that before I showed up. [00:42:24] Speaker C: I did. You know what? You talk about the Voltron thing. There was a scene, I'm not saying it was smart or it made sense, but it made me chuckle. And I had to rewind and watch again to show it to my kids, where the Indominus and the T. Rex are fighting and the raptor is just kind of there as if it's doing anything. And it like jumps off the Indominus onto the T. Rex back and is just, like, hanging out there waiting for its prime time to strike. And then it jumps back to the Indominus. [00:42:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:45] Speaker C: So dumb. I laughed. I don't know. What do you want from me? Yeah, he was Cornwell. [00:42:50] Speaker B: Yeah, they were. They look like a John Wick film. All that choreography there, you know, jumping around and stuff. No, it was. [00:42:57] Speaker A: It was great. [00:42:57] Speaker B: I didn't. I didn't think it was necessary to highlight one of the Raptors. Blue, right? It was always blue. And. And they made, like, this big dramatic deal out of blue being the beta. And I was like, you could have just made four dinosaurs slightly different each, and it really wouldn't have mattered who was getting the final blow on the, you know, tooth. [00:43:21] Speaker C: It's the only one that he named. All the other ones were, like, Charlie and Delta. Like, all the ones were the actual, like, call signs. But, like, he wasn't beta. He was blue. [00:43:31] Speaker B: I didn't even get the call sign. You're right. It was. Yeah. [00:43:34] Speaker C: Surely Delta and blue and somebody else echo. [00:43:38] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah. But, I mean, they just made this big dramatic deal of it being blue, and it didn't need to happen. It was unnecessary. It was. [00:43:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:47] Speaker C: That raptor got more character development than most characters. [00:43:49] Speaker B: Yeah, it truly did. Yes. Yes. Okay, you know what? After discussing this a little bit, as usual, my score fluctuated a bit. I brought it down two points to land at 88 for this film. Really upset with me, but I'm sorry. The worst part, of course, is the plot. It's absolute Swiss cheese. But before the movie even started, I knew that was going to be the case. So I wasn't too worried about it. The acting I thought was. Would really bad was only improved upon because Chris Pratt wasn't as pratty as he normally is. Still a terrible job in the role, but whatever. He wasn't the badass they were trying to make him out to be. He's still kind of goo. Maybe. I just. Star Lord just keeps rubbing off on me. Yeah, I did. I did like the music and the scoring for this. There were some weird things with some of the machinery and some of the guns that kind of, like, took me out of it a little bit there. But I thought the effects were, like nine out of ten. They're really good. Not perfect, but it was. It was enough that I needed it. They had some animatronic scenes with the brontosauruses out in the field. I think they could have pumped up a little bit more of the drama and really kind of drove that scene home when you know, the dinosaur breathes its last breath as they lay hands on it, and then they stand up and go over the hill and see a whole field full of them. And it really, like, impacts you as the viewer. But the cinematography kind of like they cut to Claire's face to see her, like, do her fake watery eye cry thing again. And it just kind of took me out of it when I needed that moment to last longer and that music to swell a little more, to really kick it home, that this was a really a travesty that occurred here. Instead, it was more just I was watching an exciting dinosaur rampage through, but I had a ton of fun, and that's why I'm giving this an 88. And maybe it's a high score for you guys, but I just had so much fun and laughed and enjoyed it both times I watched it this week. [00:46:03] Speaker C: Oh, I was not expecting that. I was not paying attention to the little screen at all. Amazing. [00:46:09] Speaker A: All right, [00:46:11] Speaker C: I'm. We're gonna let Will go last time, assuming so we can try and anchor my score. [00:46:17] Speaker A: Let's just. Wow. It's not that it's anchoring. I'm gonna get the hate ever. I think a lot of people like this movie. [00:46:23] Speaker C: Chat's 50. 50. We'll see. I don't. This movie is really hard to rate because I don't have any good points for why I enjoyed it as much as I did. It is guilty pleasure. It is silly popcorn fodder. It is just a summer blockbuster film. And yet I thoroughly enjoyed this. Not as much as Brian did to watch it twice in one week, but I was nervous going into this recommendation or this. This review thinking, like, oh, man, I'm going to be the high score again. And thankfully, I'm not. Brian's got me beat by a bit, but ironically, I actually did put my score down by two points throughout this conversation with Will as well. Because I do agree with a lot of what Will saying. We should be expecting more from our entertainment makers and more from people for what we're willing to spend our money on. And I can't argue with that. And yet I really enjoyed this movie. Like, I. For what this movie is. And again, the way we rate on here, like, if we go against the Godfather, like, we're going to be expecting a very different thing. If we go against, you know, Shawshank Redemption, we're going against a very different thing. But most of these movies are summer blockbuster movies. And all I'm looking for out of a summer blockbuster is to have a Good time. And I had a good time with Jurassic World. I gave it 77. So that does make it my second highest Jurassic movie, [00:47:47] Speaker A: right? Yeah, probably. [00:47:49] Speaker C: Where is Jurassic? Oh no, I'm sorry. It's tied with Lost World now. It was my second highest. Now it's tied with Lost World, which I'm okay with. Will shit on this thing. [00:48:01] Speaker A: I think I've shat on this enough. What. What else is there to say? You know, I even dropped an F bomb, which is unbecoming. So come on. You know, I just didn't really care for this again. Maybe it just stems from recent movies are all summer blockbusters instead of nuanced films. And, and people can say, yeah, it's a popcorn movie, but you don't have to lower your standards. You can have something that actually makes sense, logical sense from point A to point B. There's so many stupid little story points in here that didn't even. That weren't even necessary to make this movie ten times better. And they just left it all there. They didn't care. And they knew they were going to make a bundle of money. And that's just the way it is. I don't know. Brian stated that this was like a monster movie against dinosaurs. But that monster, the invisible Rex, was able to communicate immediately with the raptors, which. It is only a small portion of a DNA. And you don't just learn language like that. I. I don't know the half the languages of this world as a human to other humans. It just doesn't work that way. This movie sucks. But as far as pure action and me rating on action, I'm always going to be at the core script is the bones of the movie. You've heard me harp on it. I'm going to continue to harp on it. That's gonna be a biggest impact on my ratings. And that's why this one drops as far as it does from 88s and 77s of the world. The acting, not great. The genre though it is an action movie. There's lots of action. If that's what you're going to see, that's what you're going to enjoy. It's gonna be there. It's a 55 for me. Don't go see this movie. [00:49:49] Speaker C: All right. So knowing what we know about all of our scores, where do you think Jurassic World lands on the board? [00:49:57] Speaker A: Way too high. [00:49:59] Speaker B: Do you mean. Do you mean. [00:50:01] Speaker C: I mean we're only one movie in. We're only one movie in. And it's only Jurassic World. [00:50:04] Speaker B: It's only Jurassic World is a franchise. I think that's. Well, it's better than army of Darkness. I think it's gonna be in there just under Predator. [00:50:14] Speaker A: I think it's above Predator as its own. It's gonna be, like, second, third. Third from top. That's my guess. It is. [00:50:28] Speaker C: Where are we? Oh, wow. Second from the top. [00:50:32] Speaker A: I thought Alien would still take it, but. Yep, yep. [00:50:35] Speaker C: I mean, it's close. They're only one point off, but I. I was not expecting it to be quite that high. Granted, it's only one movie. We got two more to go so far and one more. Three more to go by summer. I can't imagine it's going to hold that position. Will. Will do everything he can to make sure that it doesn't. [00:50:51] Speaker A: No, no, no. I'm gonna rate as I always rate. [00:50:53] Speaker C: No, I know. I. I didn't mean you were gonna, like, do it on purpose. I just mean if you didn't enjoy this one. [00:50:59] Speaker B: Fair French. [00:51:03] Speaker A: I'm hoping we tip the scales of it's so bad, I can at least enjoy it. It just, like, I had to get past the part of, like, they strictly made this to make buck, and it was so bad. So now that I know that going forward, I probably won't be as, like, aggravated. I'll just continue to rate low. Sorry I went off on a tear, you guys. I don't mean to be. [00:51:24] Speaker C: No, it's fine. [00:51:25] Speaker B: I think it's. I think it's great that we disagree. [00:51:28] Speaker C: I just have nothing to counter them with because I just like popcorn every now and then. Like, if we. If we ever do do the show that we're talking about, like, not that we're really talking about, where we're just going to talk about, like, random movies here and there, I'm probably going to be far more critical, but it feels like we're just discussing, like, summer blockbusters. And as far as summer blockbusters go, this one's fun. All right. And that is our review of Jurassic World. What do you guys think? Were we way too harsh on this or way too lenient for some people? Let me know what your thoughts are down in the comments below. And what franchise you'd love to see us do in the future. We're gonna try and get this one done so we can see Jurassic World Rebirth when it's live in the theater. So we're gonna have that one come out super early. Other than that, we're just going to plug away at these franchises, find some more, go through those, and if you enjoy this content, make sure you hit that subscribe button and you hit the like on this channel. It really does help out quite a bit. We record these live over at Twitch TV themongoolie show. So if you want to head over there and hit the follow button, you can interact with us while we're recording it. And other than that, I hope you guys have a wonderful evening. Stay safe. Stay well. We'll see you next time, [00:52:33] Speaker A: Sam.